


Nightclub Escapades

by LyricalPary



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: (Slight) Internalized Homophobia, Alternate Universe - College/University, Blowjobs, Clubbing, Fluff and Humor, Friendship, Heteronormativity, M/M, Sexuality Crisis, Smut, but not for long, read the author's note!, the one where everyone is queer and Ashton is the token straight friend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-14
Updated: 2015-09-14
Packaged: 2018-04-20 20:18:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 34,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4800917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LyricalPary/pseuds/LyricalPary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ashton meets Luke on just another ordinary Friday. Technically, the day of their initial meeting is almost entirely irrelevant, but it’s nice to be able to remember it. Besides, in the weeks following that fateful Friday, his life changes forever. That makes Friday a pretty significant day, doesn’t it?</p><p>Or, for a straight guy, Ashton sure does spend a lot of time in gay nightclubs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nightclub Escapades

**Author's Note:**

  * For [okayrichie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/okayrichie/gifts).



> So this was an idea that I've had for a long time and I speed wrote it in a week bc I don't know what's wrong with me. Anyway, shout out to my baby sis, Naomi, for giving me ideas and listening to me whine about this everyday for the past seven days lol And another shout out to my best friend, Emi, for also giving me ideas when I was stuck bc I get stuck often?! But yeah, hope this is enjoyable for at least some of you!
> 
>  **Side pairings:** Louis Tomlinson/Harry Styles, Calum Hood/Michael Clifford (minor); (didn't tag bc apparently people find that annoying?)
> 
>  **Disclaimer:** I own neither 5 Seconds of Summer nor One Direction. Idk why I have to say this but most times I forget anyway
> 
>  **Misc.:**  
>  1\. the story takes place in London, England but I'm bad at geography and didn't wanna spend forever researching, so some stuff is vague  
> 2\. I tried to use some slang and I'm sorry  
> 3\. Also sorry that this is a long one-shot  
> 4\. this is like the 4th time that I've changed the text messaging format in my stories and I'm sorry lmao
> 
>  
> 
> **I do not give anyone permission to upload this work anywhere else.**  
> 

* * *

 

* * *

 

Ashton meets Luke on just another ordinary Friday. Technically, the day of their initial meeting is almost entirely irrelevant, but it’s nice to be able to remember it. Besides, in the weeks following that fateful Friday, his life changes forever. That makes Friday a pretty significant day, doesn’t it?

“Thanks for coming with me!” Calum shouts over the booming electronica music that fills the room. Well, more like the entire building.

It’s too loud on the main floor for Ashton to verbally reply, so he only nods and smiles at his overly excited friend. Calum isn’t looking at him anymore, though. He’s bobbing his head to the music and searching for a way through the crowd, and since Ashton really doesn’t want to get left behind, he grabs onto the hem of Calum’s short sleeved shirt.

The atmosphere of the nightclub is one that Ashton always welcomes. Even though he knows that he’ll probably have hearing problems later in life, the fact is that he loves the loud music, crowded spaces, and sweating bodies moving together as one. He loves drinking and he loves dancing (okay, so it isn’t dancing so much as it is _jumping_ together). Ashton really just loves to party, which is a whole lot more fun than studying and attending his classes at the university. He’ll take clubbing over those things _any_ day, and he’s sure that everyone else in the vast room feels the same way.

Ashton has only been to this particular nightclub a couple of times, so he allows Calum to lead them over to one of the bars. There are two of them in this particular room. When they get there, it’s unsurprising that there are plenty of people crowding around the bar, but as fate would have it, there’s just enough room for Calum and Ashton to squeeze in. And it must be their lucky night, because they don’t have to wait ages before a bartender slides right over to take their order. As always, they start the night off with a couple of beers.

Calum touches Ashton’s arm to get his attention. When he turns his attention away from the numerous bodies on the dance floor, he finds his friend smiling at him once more.

“Thanks for coming with me again,” Calum says for the second time. He seems to remember doing so, because suddenly he’s frowning a little and tilting his head to the side. “Wait a second. Did I say that already?”

Ashton can’t stop himself from laughing. “Yeah, you did. S’alright, though. I needed to get out of that room before it drove me insane.”

Calum leans back against the bar at the same time that Ashton does, nodding slowly. “You study too hard. You need to learn how to live a little. Otherwise, you’ll be in your eighties before you know it.”

“Whatever you say, Doc,” Ashton scoffs with a roll of his eyes. “And unfortunately, we’re not in grade school anymore, so fucking around is just going to have even bigger consequences than before. Studying is important, y’know.”

Ashton is pretty certain that, once again, Calum is no longer paying much attention, since this is what always happens when Ashton tries to lecture him about taking his studies more seriously. It’s alright, though. Tonight is the one night that they shouldn’t think about any of those things, so Ashton drops the subject and takes the beer that has been set in front of him. He and Calum toast to nothing in particular, and the fun times begin.

It takes all of five minutes for someone to approach them. Well, technically the person ‘accidentally’ bumps into Calum, but even if the younger boy is oblivious to such tricks, Ashton recognizes it as one of the oldest tricks in the metaphorical book of dating. He leans in a little to listen to the conversation that follows.

“Shit, sorry mate!” the stranger says, and even that sounds fake.

Calum quickly shakes his head and straightens out his shirt, which luckily hasn’t been spilled on by the second beer that he’s consuming.

“It’s alright, really.”

Since the ‘accident’ hasn’t become a conflict, the stranger starts to turn back around. But they pause at the last second and from the corner of Ashton’s eye, he can see the way that a knowing smile begins to form on this guy’s face as he stares at Calum again.

“Wait a minute, have we met before?”

“Um, I don’t think so?”

“Hm. Yeah, you’re probably right. Besides, it’d be impossible to forget a pretty face like yours.”

Ashton snorts and nearly chokes on his beer in the process. Evidently, he’d been wrong before. _This_ is definitely the oldest trick in the book, and what makes it funnier is that the stranger sounds so confident that Calum will start swooning over him because of a dumb pick-up line.

It’s rather disappointing when that’s precisely what begins to happen.

“That’s… that’s really smooth. Thanks, man,” Calum says, laughing a little. Ashton is still facing forward so he can’t see his friend’s face, but he knows that Calum is blushing. It’s obvious in the sound of his voice.

“You’re very welcome,” says the stranger. “I’m Michael, by the way. Like the archangel. But don’t be fooled by the name, I can definitely be a little devil when the time calls for it.”

At this point, Ashton can only shake his head in pity. It seems that the corny lines won’t be ending any time soon.

However, Calum begins to laugh, finding it amusing. “Oh my god, did you really just say that?”

Michael nods as if proud of himself, and Ashton doesn’t miss the way that he leans just a bit closer into Calum’s personal space.

“Yep,” he says with a half-smirk. “I find that the cheesiest pick-up lines are the ones with the highest success rate.”

“Is that so?”

“Mhm, I swear on my own grave.”

Several seconds pass by but Calum fails to reply to that. Ashton gives up on trying to be subtle and turns his head to see what’s up, and what he finds is his best friend and the weird guy totally eye-fucking each other. They make zero attempt to hide this as they blatantly check each other out, and since Calum doesn’t usually behave this way when flirting with boys, Ashton is intrigued. He decides to be even less subtle by checking Michael out as well.

The fiery red hair is the first thing to catch his eye. Ashton knows plenty of people with dyed hair, but this Michael guy sticks out like a sore thumb. Not necessarily in a bad way, though. It’s just that everything about him practically screams that he’s looking for attention; his bright red hair, brow piercing, cherry red lips, and leather jacket proves this theory. As to why he’s wearing a leather jacket in a place that’s hot enough, Ashton doesn’t know and he won’t question it. He doesn’t appear to be a shady person, though, and it’s the first time that Calum has ever been so awestruck with a single person before.

So, Ashton decides to be helpful. He hooks an arm over Calum’s shoulder and bursts the bubble that they’ve seemed to form around themselves. Only now does Calum snap out of it, and Ashton gives Michael a friendly grin once those piercing green eyes have settled on him.

“This is Calum. He’s a little a shy around new people, but he sure knows how to have a good time. Right, buddy?”

Ashton gives his friend a reassuring pat on the shoulder, but it does the opposite of helping. If anything, Calum suddenly becomes a little more bashful than usual, or maybe he’s just embarrassed that he needs someone else to introduce him to another person. There’s no shame in that, but Calum always behaves oddly about these sort of things.

For a few seconds, all that Michael does is glance back and forth between the two of them, studying them closely. Finally, he asks:

“So are you two together, then?”

From the way that he says the word _together_ , Ashton instantly picks up on what he’s implying. And since it’s totally false and Ashton doesn’t want Michael to think otherwise, he quickly shakes his head and stutters out a reply.

“No! No, no we’re not together. I mean, technically we are right _now_ , but not in the way that you’re probably thinking. Uh, whichever way that is. Basically, no. We aren’t. At all.”

The strange answer only seems to make Michael even more confused, which is when Calum stops being shy and leans forward to whisper something into Michael’s ear. Whatever was said makes Michael laugh out loud, and then he’s looking back at Ashton with a certain warmth in his eyes that’s too difficult to decipher.

“Okay, yeah, that makes much more sense now,” Michael says, once he stops laughing. “For a second there, I was wondering if I’d have to share you. Not that I’d mind having a threesome, but, y’know.”

An almost searing heat rises to Ashton’s cheeks, while Calum bursts into laughter at his friend’s reaction. And it certainly isn’t funny, but Ashton is far too flustered to say anything else at the moment. Instead, he turns back towards the bar and downs the rest of his beer in a single gulp, deciding to butt out of their conversation.

Now that it’s just the two of them again, Michael grins. “You’ve got an adorable laugh, you know that?”

Just like a bashful little boy in grade school, Calum blushes and smiles down at his feet after murmuring a ‘thank you’ for the compliment. Pretty soon they’re back to having that staring contest that Ashton had interrupted mere moments prior, and even though he tries not to spy, Ashton must admit that it’s almost sickeningly cute.

Again, Michael is the first to speak up.

“I’d love to buy you a drink, Calum. May I?”

Calum nods without a second thought, the biggest grin on his face as Michael waves over one of the bartenders.

After a couple of drinks and so much flirting that it’s almost nauseating, Michael takes Calum’s hand and they disappear amongst the sea of gyrating bodies on the dance floor. This leaves Ashton all by himself at the bar. Okay, so there are still plenty of other people standing there, too, so technically speaking, he’s far from alone. He doesn’t know any of these people, though, and he doesn’t try to make conversation, either. He’s just here so that Calum wouldn’t have to come alone, since Calum’s usual party buddy-slash-flat mate is stuck taking care of their other flat mate, who has come down with a fever.

Ashton doesn’t mind standing at the bar the whole time while Calum has fun with a redhead. After all, there’s plenty of alcohol and loud music and an atmosphere that he loves, so he really doesn’t need socialization to keep himself entertained. He’s more than content with the way that things are right now, in this precise moment.

“Hi.”

The unexpected greeting comes from Ashton’s right, and he almost doesn’t look because he assumes that the person is addressing someone else. But Ashton doesn’t hear anyone answer, so he takes a chance and turns his head, where he comes face to face with a blond giant whose eyes remind Ashton of the sky during the winter months.

Which is just a little bit of an exaggeration, because Ashton is a tad more than tipsy now. He still manages to respond.

“Um, hey.”

Blondie continues to stare at Ashton—it’s a bit creepy, to be honest—while chewing on his bottom lip. Or, maybe he’s fiddling with the black thing that’s situated there. Upon squinting at it, Ashton sees that the black thing is actually a lip ring. It goes perfectly with the stranger’s red and black flannel, plain black shirt, and black skinny jeans to match.

“I’m Luke,” the stranger adds, smiling shyly.

Ashton just nods, since he never asked in the first place. He’s a polite person, though. Mostly. So he keeps this thought to himself.

“Nice to meet you, Luke. I’m Ashton.”

The smile on Luke’s face widens and he points to the bar. “Would you mind if I…?”

It takes Ashton a moment or two to understand what he’s being asked of, but then he notices that Luke is just kind of standing there awkwardly while Ashton takes up more space than necessary. It would be rude not to comply, so Ashton nods again.

“Oh, sure. Go ahead.”

He scoots over so that Luke may occupy the small space available, and once the situation is taken care of, Ashton raises his glass up to his lips and starts to let his mind wander again. However, before doing so, he acknowledges that something is a little off and turns to face Luke once more.

“Hey, are you… Australian, by any chance?”

Luke briefly appears to be surprised by the question, but then he’s smiling again and nodding. Somehow, even his nod seems shy.

“Yeah, yeah I am.” He pauses, shyness turning into subtle embarrassment. “Um, is my accent really that thick?”

Ashton chuckles for no particular reason. “Pretty much, aye.”

Since he’s only tipsy, Ashton is still able to recognize the despondent look that appears on Luke’s face. He must be thinking that Ashton is laughing _at_ his accent, instead of simply laughing because… well, because of no reason at all. Nevertheless, Ashton is quick to turn the situation around.

“It’s not a bad thing, though,” he says, smiling when Luke looks at him again. “Not as bad as my English accent, anyway. God, you wouldn’t want to hear me speaking in the morning. I sound about as British as Winston Churchill.”

That gets a genuine cackle out of Luke, his pointy nose scrunching up a bit and his eyes going all crinkly. The joke honestly wasn’t even that funny, but it fills Ashton with a sort of pride, knowing that someone else thinks otherwise. It’s probably just the alcohol in his system, though. Who really knows.

“You’re really funny,” Luke says, and he’s still wearing that same grin. He glances down before adding, “And… cute, too. Very cute.”

Oh. Right. So that’s what this is. Ashton really shouldn’t be as surprised as he is when he hears those words, especially now that Luke is staring at him with more intrigue than shyness. He shouldn’t be surprised because, well, this _is_ a gay nightclub. And Luke blatantly flirting with him probably means that Luke is gay, and he’s assuming that Ashton is as well—which shouldn’t be a problem because, again, this is a _gay_ nightclub.

Ashton suddenly feels quite guilty.

“Are you here with anyone?” Luke asks. He has to lean in a lot closer to be heard, because the current song ends and the next song begins, and somehow this one is twice as loud. Because of this closeness, Ashton gets a whiff of Luke’s cologne mixed in with his aftershave, as well as a sort of musky scent beneath it that must be Luke’s natural scent and, yeah, okay, Ashton _really_ needs to sort this out as soon as possible.

“Yeah, actually…” Ashton trails off to search the crowd for any sign of Calum. But combined with the flashing lights and jumping bodies, he can hardly even make out the faces of the people just a few feet away from them. Finding Calum would be impossible.

Luke mistakes his glancing around for something entirely different.

“Hey,” he says, grabbing Ashton’s attention once more. “Do you wanna dance?”

It’s the hopeful smile on Luke’s face that makes it even worse. Clearly, he’s very interested in Ashton and wants to have fun with him, but because he doesn’t know the truth, it’s highly possible that he’s hoping for a certain type of fun that Ashton just can’t give him. So instead of letting the situation fester until it’s too late to escape unscathed, Ashton takes a deep breath and decides to speak up now.

“Thanks for the offer,” he starts with, then takes another moment to gather his words. “But… I’m straight. And, I swear I’m not just saying that because I don’t like you, because I do. You seem like an alright bloke. But, uh, just in case you were hoping for… something more. I’m just here with a friend, so um, yeah. Sorry.”

It’s just a bit painful to watch the hope within Luke’s eyes turn into sorrow and disappointment, so Ashton looks away in the middle of his explanation. He seriously does feel like a jerk now, even though he knows that he shouldn’t. But, it’s better to get the truth out there instead of unknowingly leading Luke on.

“Oh,” Luke mutters, and now he’s staring down at his hands and playing with the ring around his pinky finger. Ashton can’t tell if he’s feeling rejected or embarrassed or what, and it sucks because he shouldn’t have to feel this way at all. But just before Ashton can tell him this, Luke glances up again and says quickly: “Okay, well, do you wanna dance with me anyway? You obviously don’t have to, I just—I’m not here with anyone because I don’t _know_ anyone, so I’ve been feeling kind of… lonely… but I saw you from across the bar and figured that you might be lonely, too? Fuck, I probably sound really pathetic right now and I’m sorry, but I, like, I don’t know…”

Luke trails off at the same time that he drops his gaze and returns to staring at his hands. If Ashton didn’t feel bad before, then he certainly does now. The expression Luke’s face now is almost as bad as the puppy eyes that Calum always gives him, the one look that Ashton can never resist. It seems that he won’t be able to resist Luke, either, and maybe that isn’t a terrible thing. Unlike Calum, who usually begs when he wants something ridiculously unnecessary, all that Luke wants is a single dance. They’re at a nightclub, after all, and Ashton is getting a tad bored of drinking and thinking. In other words, why not?

“Alright,” he says at last. “I’ll dance with you.”

Luke’s eyes widen in surprise. “I… Really?”

“Mhm. Really.”

“Oh. Um, are you sure? I promise I’m not trying to force you…”

Ashton only laughs and shakes his head. “Yes, I’m sure! I mean, it’s just dancing, right? There’s no harm in that. And, I guess you were right about me being a little lonely before. But hey, let’s forget all about that and get lost in the music!”

Before Luke is given a chance to reply to any of that, Ashton is already making his way to the dance floor, suddenly feeling determined to have the greatest time with this blond stranger who happens to be very kind. He doesn’t need to turn around to make sure that Luke is following closely behind, because he’s sure that he is. It doesn’t take more than a minute for them to squeeze through the crowd of moving bodies, and once they find an opening that isn’t too compact, Ashton finally turns around to face his dancing partner.

Luke looks absolutely clueless. He stands with his arms hanging limp by his sides while he chews on his bottom lip again, eyes glancing at their surroundings as if he truly doesn’t know what to do. Or, maybe he doesn’t know what he’s _allowed_ to do, because most of the people near them are grinding against each other and there’s even a couple fiercely making out. Since he and Luke obviously aren’t going to do either of those things, Ashton decides to be the one to lead. He reaches down and takes both of Luke’s thin wrists in his hands, ignoring how they feel so soft and dainty, and starts to dance, his grip on Luke’s wrists forcing the other boy to mirror his movements. When their eyes meet, Ashton gives him a silly smile and Luke huffs out a laugh, finally beginning to relax.

Ashton doesn’t keep track of how long they dance together. He just knows that at some point, neither of them are feeling shy or self-conscious as they jump around to the songs, and the adrenaline pumping through Ashton’s veins has an even better effect on him than the alcohol. Sure, he’s a bit sweaty now from all of the movement, but he doesn’t care about any of that. Luke doesn’t seem to care, either. He laughs again and again while watching Ashton purposely dance like a buffoon, and in this moment, everything is right with the world.

When the DJ smoothly transitions the current song to the next one, Luke’s eyes widen in excitement and he bounces up and down in place, almost like a small child or something. It’s almost _cute_ , but then he’s saying something that Ashton can’t quite hear.

“What?”

“I said—” Luke abruptly stops when the bass drops and the people around them cheer, making it even more difficult to hear him. That’s when he leans in so that he can speak into Ashton’s ear, and being this close to one another, all of the heat from Luke’s body seems to seep right into Ashton’s, making him feel some type of way that he’d rather not acknowledge. “I said, I really love this song!”

And just like that, Luke pulls away and starts to dance again, the bright smile never leaving his face the entire time that the song is playing. It’s contagious in the best way, and Ashton doesn’t even realize that he’s grinning back until his cheeks begin to feel just a bit sore. However, while dancing with Luke, he doesn’t particularly mind the pain.

Eventually, they leave the dance floor and find themselves at another bar on a different floor. This one is far less crowded with people, as most of them are lounging around on the fancy sofas and chatting with each other. This gives Ashton and Luke the opportunity to chat with each other, too.

“So,” Ashton says, and he drags it out while swirling around the melting ice in his glass. “You’re a really long ways from home. Why England?”

“Well, um, I’m actually not that sure.” Luke laughs softly. “I mean, I guess I’ve always wanted to come here? And… I was pretty sheltered, growing up. I’m the youngest of three, so my brothers got to do a bunch of cool things and visit many places while I was always too young. So, I figured that if I wanted to be more independent and see those cool places, too, then I had to prove myself… but, honestly? Being here alone isn’t as fun as I’d thought.”

Luke attempts to mask the weight of those words with another little laugh, but it doesn’t quite work and even he knows that, so he turns his attention back to the glass in his own hands, his thumb swiping over the condensation. Ashton has never really been too good at dealing with moments such as these, but he thinks he’s supposed to say something cheerful. However, just before he’s able to utter something that will hopefully lift Luke’s spirits, his phone vibrates in his pocket and he politely excuses himself before retrieving the phone.

It turns out to be a text message from Calum, and Ashton giggles when he reads what it says.

> **(2:16 AM) Calum:**
> 
> Hey I almost forgot to tell u that I left lmao  
>  With Michael ;)  
>  So don’t wait up ok????

To be honest, Ashton isn’t offended that Calum has just left him in the club, even though being with Calum is the only reason that Ashton tagged along in the first place. Oh well, he’s happy that Calum has found someone that he likes and is totally about to get laid. Ashton mentally applauds him for scoring.

“Everything okay?” Luke asks, and only now does Ashton remember their conversation.

“Oh, yeah,” he answers, shoving the phone into his pocket again. “My friend was just letting me know that he’s leaving with someone.”

“Ah. Is that the dark-haired guy that I think I saw you with earlier?”

“Yep.”

Luke sighs dreamily. “God, he’s so _hot_.”

Ashton giggles at that. “Trust me, you’re not the only one who thinks so. He asks me to be his wingman, but I never actually have to _do_ anything. Guys just seem to flock to him, for some reason.”

“Well, I think it’s really cool of you to come here with him for support.”

In response, Ashton shrugs and lifts the glass to his lips. It’s basically just melted ice at this point, but he doesn’t really feel like ordering another drink. Besides, now that Calum is gone, there’s no real reason for him to stick around until closing time.

“Truth is, I don’t really like to,” he says. “But, it’s been a long week and I figured that a few drinks would do me some good.”

“Oh… Does being here make you uncomfortable?”

“No, no. Not at all,” Ashton insists, shaking his head. “I just don’t want to… y’know.” When all that Luke does is blink at him, Ashton tries explaining himself further. “Intrude. I don’t want to intrude. Because, like, I’m straight and this place is meant for people who aren’t? In my opinion, I think it’s intrusive for straight people to come here just because they want to, when this place isn’t meant for them. I mean, _us_.”

Luke starts to nod along. “Yeah, I see what you mean. And, you’re not the first straight guy that I’ve run into tonight, actually.” He grimaces at the memory, but then laughs. “Though, he wasn’t nearly as polite about me hitting on him...”

“That’s a pity.” While hoping that he isn’t overstepping any boundaries, Ashton adds: “You don’t have any… gay friends to go clubbing with?”

Luke sadly shakes his head. “Haven’t really made any friends yet. First semester and all.”

“Oh, that’s right. You did say that.” A wide grin spreads on Ashton’s face, and Luke curiously raises his brows. “Well, lucky for you, I have plenty of friends who are gay. In fact, all three of my roommates are into guys, and most of their friends are, too. I could introduce you to them, if you want. Then you won’t have to worry about being alone anymore. Oh, and I promise that they’re all really great.”

Luke’s lips curve into the biggest smile even before Ashton finishes speaking. “Wow, that’s… You know what, I’d love that. Thank you, Ashton.”

“It’s no big deal, really.”

“Still, thank you so much.” As if to further show his appreciation, Luke gently bumps his shoulder into Ashton’s and doesn’t stop nudging him until Ashton properly laughs. When things calm down again, he asks, “So… your friend from tonight?”

“Calum.”

“Right. Calum.” Luke nods a few times. “Do you think he’ll have much luck with that redhead?”

Ashton laughs again. “No clue. But if he doesn’t, I’ll let you know.”

“Cool,” Luke replies, wearing a bashful grin now. “Do you want to exchange numbers, then? You know, to keep in touch? I, um, I really like talking to you and… I don’t know, maybe we could hang out sometime? As friends, of course. Maybe then I could meet your friends, too?”

Ashton doesn’t even have to consider it. He has always liked making new friends, so he nods and retrieves his phone from his pocket again, smiling when Luke does the same.

“Sure, why not? I think hanging out with you has been the highlight of my week, to be honest.”

When Luke absolutely _beams_ , Ashton knows that he’s made a good decision. It only takes seconds for them to put their numbers into each other’s phones, and once Luke has been saved as a new contact, Ashton starts to put his phone away again. Except, he receives another text before doing so.

> **(2:24 AM) Luke:**
> 
> hiiiii :-)

Ashton smiles, and even though they’re standing right next to each other, he decides that it won’t hurt to text back.

> **(2:25 AM) Ashton:**
> 
> Hey there :)

Depending on which way you choose to look at it, it all goes downhill from there.

***

Ashton’s head isn’t trying to murder him the next morning, which is fantastic. He hadn’t been completely wasted at the nightclub, but it seems that no matter how little he drinks, his body loves to surprise him with hangovers, especially during the most stressful weeks of the school year. He’s lucky this time, though. That’s why he takes his time while moving around the small kitchen in their apartment, fixing himself some tea and a bit of beans on toast for breakfast. He’ll have to make a grocery list for later, since they’re all out of eggs.

The sound of feet lightly tapping against the hardwood floor lifts Ashton’s attention to the entryway, and seconds later one of his flat mates, Louis, comes walking into the kitchen while stifling a yawn.

“Morning,” Ashton greets him.

Louis pauses in his tracks, frowning and scrubbing at his tired eyes as if he doesn’t recognize Ashton. The confusion doesn’t last for more than a couple of seconds, and then he’s yawning for the second time.

“Morn—” He starts to reply, but something else catches his eye and he sighs. “There’s tea. Thank goodness.”

Louis pats Ashton on the shoulder as he passes him to get to the kettle. Ashton giggles, because of course that’s the first thing that his friend goes for. Can’t blame him, either. Tea is an essential part of life. Louis hums a random tune as he retrieves a mug from the cupboard, and Ashton watches as he pours the boiled water over the teabag that he’s set in it. After mixing in a bit of milk and sugar, Louis takes a sip from his concoction and hums in delight, pleased at the taste. As always—and much to Ashton’s dismay—Louis hops up onto the counter and sits there, enjoying his tea.

“How was clubbing?” he asks, sounding a little more awake now. “You don’t look hungover. Have a shitty time?”

Ashton shakes his head. “Nah, it was actually quite fun. And I’m guessing that Calum had a _great_ time, since he still hasn’t come back.”

Louis snorts. “Really? Lucky lad, very lucky.” He pauses. “And you? Meet anyone worth your time?”

He’s wiggling his eyebrows suggestively now and it makes Ashton roll his eyes.

“Of course not,” he mutters, then takes a sip from his tea before it gets too cool.

“Hey now, gay men and lesbians aren’t the only ones who hang out at those particular places. I’m sure you could’ve easily found a nice bisexual girl or someone else to have plenty of fun with.”

“Well, I didn’t, and I wasn’t really looking.” Ashton tilts his head in thought as a certain smile flashes before his eyes. “I did meet someone nice, though… Someone really nice.”

From his peripheral vision, he sees the way that Louis pipes up in interest.

“Yeah? Do tell.”

“His name’s Luke,” Ashton explains, his eyes cast down as he watches the liquid slowly swirl in his mug. “He asked me to dance with him, and even when I told him the truth about me being straight, he still wanted to dance with me.”

“So?”

“So, we danced for a while, and then we went back to the bar and had a few drinks. We mostly talked, though. Did I mention that he’s Australian? Well, he is Australian, which I thought was pretty neat. Anyway, we ended up exchanging phone numbers and I promised to introduce him to you guys sometime, since he doesn’t have any friends yet.”

Louis says nothing at first, and Ashton starts to wonder if he’s even listening anymore. But, then he hums and says:

“Interesting.”

And since that’s apparently all that he has to say on the matter, Ashton glances up at him, feeling a little confused.

“What?”

Louis doesn’t even answer him this time, instead giving Ashton one of those weird smiles that always appears on his face when he’s being mischievous. It’s kind of annoying, so Ashton rolls his eyes again, sets his tea down and picks up his plate instead. He starts to nibble on his toast.

Just then, Harry comes into the kitchen, clad in nothing but boxers and a pair of fuzzy rainbow socks. He looks even more exhausted and confused than Louis had a few minutes ago, but when Ashton waves at him, he smiles.

“Good morning,” he murmurs, and his deep voice sounds a lot scratchier than usual. Clearly, he’s still a little sick, and Ashton pities him. Harry sniffles as he drags himself over to the counter where his boyfriend still sits.

“Morning, love.” Louis leans down and kisses the side of Harry’s mouth, then hands him the warm mug of tea. Harry lifts it to his lips and sips from it graciously, humming as the warm liquid slithers down his sore throat.

Afterwards, Harry looks over at Ashton and asks, “Did you have fun at the club last night?”

Ashton nods easily.

“Apparently, Calum had more fun than anyone,” Louis cheekily adds.

The two of them giggle like school children, which is ironic because they’re both older than Ashton. In fact, this year is Louis’ final year, yet he parties like a fresher and looks like one, too. Or, perhaps Ashton is just too tall. Luke is a few inches taller than him, though. Ashton suddenly looks forward to seeing Luke stand next to Louis, because that’ll definitely be a sight to see.

But that’s enough thoughts of Luke for one morning, so Ashton takes a few steps towards his friends and puts a hand to Harry’s forehead. He’s happy to know that it’s no longer burning hot.

“What about you? Feeling better now?” he asks, just to be safe.

“Mhm, much better.” Harry gives Ashton the best smile that he can manage so early in the morning. “Lou took good care of me.”

Harry directs his smile up at Louis now and Louis smiles down at him, his eyes filled with so much love and fondness that it should be sickening. It isn’t, though. Not just because Ashton is used to seeing them like this, but because of the fact that their love is so pure and genuine. Never before has he seen two people so deeply in love with each other, and he’s more than happy for them.

But sometimes it can be a little suffocating, because they have each other and Ashton… doesn’t have anyone. Not at the moment. He hasn’t been in a serious relationship since he was eighteen, which was three years ago. He has gone on casual dates since then and enjoyed a few hook ups during his time in university, but it isn’t the same. Along with the knowledge that Harry and Louis have been going strong for five years—and hope to get married once Harry graduates—Ashton can’t help but be just a _little_ envious.

He refuses to let his own bitterness ruin their moment, though. So instead, he smiles weakly and retreats.

“Glad to hear it.”

About a minute later, Louis sighs and hops down from the counter.

“Well, I better shower and get going. Liam will be waiting for me and then we’ll have to wait for Zayn, since he never fails to be late.” Louis leans up on his toes and kisses Harry’s cheek this time. “Wear your peacoat and a scarf today, alright? We don’t want you getting sick again, Haz.”

Harry sighs dramatically, but the smile that appears afterwards is nothing but grateful.

“I will, I will.”

Once again, Louis smiles back at him and leans up to gently peck his lips this time. They whisper I love you’s to each other twice before Louis pulls away, and he ruffles Ashton’s hair before exiting the kitchen for good. It’s silent now, save for Ashton chewing the last of his toast and Harry slowly sipping from his tea. Suddenly, he sighs.

“This is really good,” Harry says, licking his lips. “Almost as good as when I make it.”                

Of course he’ll only complain about the tea once Louis leaves the room, and Ashton knows exactly why. Louis likes to dump far too much sugar into his morning tea, claiming that it gives him the boost that he needs for his early classes. In reality, he just has a sweet tooth.

So Ashton snorts and says, “Almost?”

Harry nods, and even as he raises the mug to his lips again, Ashton can still see the sneaky little smirk behind it.

“Almost.”

***

The next time that Ashton meets Luke is on Thursday morning, almost a full week since their initial meeting at the nightclub. Again, the day that they meet is completely irrelevant, but still worth mentioning.

It’s also worth mentioning that it’s a rather chilly morning, even more so than usual at this time of year. However, the cold means nothing to Ashton. Not when he’s going for his morning jog and the only thing that he focuses on is the heart beating in his chest, as well as the music pumping into his ears. He actually loves jogging in the cold because it means that he won’t get too sweaty. It also means that his fingers are numb, but this can easily be fixed.

Ashton takes a detour at the nearby coffee shop. It’s the shop that he always visits on mornings such as this one, because it’s the closest one to the apartment complex that he lives in with his flat mates. He also likes it because they never mess up on his order. So, that’s a bonus.

The queue inside of the coffee shop isn’t as bad as it’s been in the past, but Ashton does have to wait a few minutes before it’s his turn to order a drink. When it finally is his turn, he settles on a plain cup of cappuccino. Why? Because he’s a simple guy who likes simple drinks, okay, so give him a break. While waiting for it to be made, he glances around the shop and is genuinely surprised when his eyes land on a familiar face.

There at the opposite end of the shop sits Luke, who doesn’t notice Ashton because he’s currently gazing out of the window that’s next to him. But although he’s staring out of the window, it doesn’t look as if he’s staring at anything in particular. In fact, it looks a lot more like he’s lost in his own thoughts.

Would it be rude to interrupt him? Ashton doubts that it would, and that’s precisely why he doesn’t hesitate in approaching Luke’s table with a friendly smile on his face. Judging by the other’s reaction, Ashton would say that Luke is surprised to see him, not appalled.

“Morning!” Ashton chirps. He’s always chirpy during his morning runs.

“Oh, um, good morning,” Luke replies. Clearly, he’s not much of a morning person.

Ashton points to the chair nearest to him. “May I?”

“Sure, yeah, go ahead. I don’t mind. Not at all.”

With very little grace, Ashton plops down into the chair and scoots closer to the table, looking like someone who had been invited from the very beginning. Luke doesn’t seem to mind it, though. Just like he said. But he _is_ giving Ashton a strange look, as if he means to ask a question. He verbalizes this question just a few seconds later.

“Were you exercising out there?”

“Well, I certainly wasn’t going ballroom dancing, if that’s what you’re wondering.”

The sarcasm makes Luke roll his eyes, but then he huffs out a quiet laugh and stares down at the latte in front of him.

“I don’t know how you can stand it,” Luke says, rubbing his reddened hands together. “It’s so cold here, and yet you’re wearing… _shorts_.”

Ashton shrugs and the smile on his face softens. “Eh, I’m an Englishman, so I’m used to it. I mean, I ought to be. Otherwise I’d certainly freeze my arse off as soon as I stepped outside, y’know?”

Luke nods in agreement with a small smile of his own. He doesn’t say anything else after that, instead content with staring at his lukewarm latte and chewing on his lip ring as usual. Only now does Ashton realize that he’s gone back to being incredibly shy, just like the week before at the nightclub. This is exactly how he had behaved before they danced together, so Ashton starts to wonder if he has said something wrong to make Luke feel this way.

Before he gets the chance to ask, Luke speaks up first.

“I’m sorry that I haven’t texted you since that night,” he blurts out, and even now he refuses to meet Ashton’s gaze. “As you’ve probably already figured out, I’m not really… the best at starting conversations? Or socializing in general, for that matter. But I have been wanting to talk to you, I just didn’t know how? Um. Yeah…”

Ah, so that’s what this is about. Luke feels guilty for not attempting to contact Ashton during this past week, but in all honesty, Ashton hasn’t made an attempt, either. It’s mostly due to his busy schedule during the week and the fact that he spent his entire Sunday with his family, but also because he assumed that Luke would text him first? And he probably shouldn’t have assumed anything, but. The point is that Luke shouldn’t feel guilty right now because he hasn’t done anything wrong. Ashton must let him know that.

“You don’t have to apologize, Luke.” Ashton pauses to laugh. “I mean, it’s no big deal at all? And it’s not like I texted you, either. But hey, you could text me the most random thing and I’d have no problem with it. That’s what my flat mates do. God, you should see our group chat. It’s filled with bad puns, inappropriate jokes, pictures of kale…”

Luke tilts his head to the side. “Kale? Why… kale?”

“Exactly! No one really knows, nor do we care. Weird, innit?”

“It’s definitely weird,” Luke agrees, laughing. He visibly relaxes after this, meaning that Ashton’s plan has been a success.

They engage in a brief but refreshing conversation. Luke mentions that he plans to spend the day touring the city of London, since he hasn’t had the chance to see much of it yet. Ashton almost volunteers to show him around, until remembering that he has a class later in the day. But he does promise to take Luke to the London Library someday soon, if Luke promises not to go there without him. In response, Luke says that he would probably get lost on the way there, anyway.

Soon enough, the barista announces that Ashton’s beverage is ready, which means that it’s time for him to continue with his morning exercise. Since he’d been really into their conversation, he reluctantly stands from his chair and starts to walk over to the counter. A sudden thought occurs to him before he takes even two steps, and he whirls back around.

“Hey, Luke?” He waits until the other boy looks at him again before continuing. “My mates and I plan to go out again tomorrow night. If you’re not busy, would you consider joining us? I swear that it’ll be twice as fun as last time.”

It’s rather silly how Luke looks genuinely surprised to be invited, as if he still doesn’t realize that Ashton really likes hanging out with him. It doesn’t take long for him to get over his temporary shock, though, and now he’s nodding enthusiastically.

“I’d love to!” he exclaims, then blushes when he notices how excited he sounds.

Ashton simply chuckles. “Fantastic. I’ll text you the details, alright?”

Luke nods again while waving as Ashton finally goes to retrieve his drink, now that his name has been called twice. They wave to each other a second time as Ashton leaves the coffee shop, and then a third time when he passes by the window that Luke still sits behind.

If all goes well tomorrow night—and Ashton is certain that it will—then he may be able to start referring to Luke as a friend.

Ashton wants that. He truly does.

***

As promised, Luke arrives at their flat the next evening, and he even shows up a few minutes early. The ensuing problem is not due to the time of his arrival, but rather the state that he arrives in. Because, well, he’s soaking wet.

“It started t-to rain,” is the first thing that Luke says, and his teeth are chattering because of this. “I didn’t think that it would, but then it suddenly started pouring out of nowhere a-and it was too late to run back to my flat and get an umbrella. Not that I have one, anyway…”

Even though Ashton tries to appear sympathetic, an amused laugh escapes him before he can even contain it. Luckily, Luke doesn’t seem to be offended by it. He only smiles a little, looking a bit embarrassed by his own predicament.

“Welcome to London!” Ashton teases, and he steps aside to allow Luke into the flat.

“I hate London and I feel icky,” Luke grumbles. He waddles through the doorway but doesn’t go any further, since he’s a polite person and doesn’t want to track any mud or water through the place. He glances down at his ruined outfit and sighs. “At least it didn’t soak through my jeans too much? My shirt, on the other hand…”

“Well, I have the perfect solution. Stay here and I’ll find you another shirt, alright?”

Once Luke nods, Ashton runs off in search of a shirt for him to change into and a towel. It only takes a minute of searching through his dresser before finding one that he’s positive is large enough to fit Luke’s broad shoulders, and on his way back to the entryway, he grabs a fluffy towel from the cabinet in the hallway. A look of great relief appears on Luke’s face when Ashton shows up again.

“Catch,” Ashton says, tossing him the shirt. Luke grabs it with ease and begins to examine it.

“A wolf, huh?” He grins. “I like wolves.”

Instead of mentioning that he hadn’t been paying attention to the graphic on the shirt and only chose it because of its size, Ashton smiles back at the other boy before draping the towel over his head. Luke gasps when he’s no longer able to see anything, but he stays completely still as Ashton rubs the towel all over his head, collecting the excess water. He’s extra gentle when patting the towel against Luke’s wet face, and once that’s done with, Ashton drapes the towel over one of Luke’s shoulders for him to use a bit more if he wants.

Obviously, Luke could have dried his head all by himself, and they both know this. But instead of mentioning it, Luke mutters a quiet but genuine thanks. Ashton elects to ignore the prominent blush on Luke’s cheeks.

“C’mon, I’ll show you to the bathroom so that you can get changed.”

Luke wordlessly follows Ashton from the entryway and further into the apartment. They have to pass the kitchen to get to the bathroom, and since Harry and Louis are currently bickering near the oven, Ashton decides that he may as well get introductions over with. Besides, he knows that they’re both excited to meet his new almost-friend.

Ashton clears his throat loud enough to get their attention. As soon as they see Luke standing there, they instantly go from old, bickering married couple to a couple of sweet little angels. It’s amazing, really.

“Oh, you must be Luke! Hello, it’s nice to finally meet you. I’m Harry.” Harry eagerly walks over to the other side of the counter to greet their guest. He’s wearing a pink apron with heart patterns on it and carrying a plate of brownies, which he offers to Luke with a smile. “Would you like one?”

Luke stares at the plate of brownies and then glances into Harry’s big green eyes, before looking at Ashton for a second and then down at the brownies again. He looks hesitant and unsure of what to say, at this point.

Harry notices this and quickly shakes his head. “Don’t worry, they’re gluten free. I promise.”

A surprisingly loud laugh suddenly echoes through the kitchen, and Louis comes up from behind Harry, throwing an arm around his boyfriend’s shoulders. He has to really look up to meet Luke’s eyes, and Ashton takes a mental note of their highly noticeable height difference.

“I don’t think he cares about the gluten, babe,” Louis murmurs to Harry. He looks up at Luke again and smiles. “There’s no pot in them, if that’s what you’re worried about. We ran out of that last week. These are really good, though, so you should try one. Oh, and I’m Louis, by the way.”

“Nice to meet you. Um, both of you.” The worried look disappears from Luke’s face, even though he still sounds a bit shy. Without further hesitation, he reaches out and grabs one of the carefully cut brownies, then bites into it. Hardly a second later, he hums in delight. “Wow, these really are good. Thank you.”

Harry smiles as big as the sun, since he loves nothing more than pleasing people with his baking skills. However, he then starts to ramble about the recipe that he used to make the gluten free brownies, and although Luke is polite, it’s obvious that he’s hoping for an escape from this conversation.

So, Ashton provides him with one.

“Luke had rather unfortunate luck on the way here, so I’ll show him to the bathroom now.”

Harry frowns, finally taking in the younger boy’s appearance. “Aw, did the weather get you? That’s not good, not good at all. You should carry around an umbrella next time, that way you’ll stay dry and won’t risk catching a cold.”

Unexpectedly, Luke laughs. “I’ll try to remember that from now on. Thanks again.”

After finally showing Luke to the bathroom, Ashton returns to the kitchen to find his friends feeding brownies to each other, giggling and licking the remaining chocolate from each other’s fingers. He’d rather not get in between their weird foreplay, but they still have a _guest_ and he’s hoping to make a good impression, instead of scarring Luke for life.

“Can the two of you at least _try_ to behave yourselves? I’m trying to make a good impression.”

Harry and Louis whip their heads around at the same time, staring at him with eerily similar expressions on their faces. They do that, sometimes. They’re like mirror images of each other, and it used to creep Ashton out a little bit.

Then, Louis scoffs, “A good impression? Please, it’s not as if he’s your boyfriend or anything. There’s no need to try so hard.”

“Boyfriend?” Harry repeats, briefly looking confused. But, then he starts to smirk. “Is he your boyfriend, Ashton?”

“Wha—? No, of course he isn’t,” Ashton stammers. He crosses his arms over his chest and averts his gaze. “He’s just a friend. I’m not gay.”

Louis gasps dramatically and presses a hand to his chest. “Well, excuse me. Is there something _wrong_ with being gay?”

“What? That’s not what I— _ugh_ , obviously there isn’t and that’s not what I meant! You’re not being fair at all.”

“Alright, alright, calm down,” Louis says, cackling so hard that his face goes a little red. “I’m just taking the piss, no need to grow out your grey hairs so early.”

Ashton continues to frown, though it’s more like pouting. He’s just completely unamused by the teasing. Since Harry is always the one to come in between the two of them, he gently pats Louis on the knee to get him to stop.

“C’mon, Lou. We could at least listen to what he has to say.”

“Thank you, Harry.” Ashton clears his throat before trying again. “Look, all I’m saying is that Luke is new here and so I really want to show him a good time, yeah? He doesn’t have any friends yet and I kind of feel bad for him, but since he’s a very nice bloke, I figured that we could try being his friends. So, just for tonight, let’s try to make him feel welcomed. Okay?”

Harry complies easily enough. “Okay, we can do that.” He turns to Louis and says, “Right, Lou?”

Whether he wants to or not, Louis nods. It can’t be helped, though. Whenever Harry wears this warm, angelic expression that’s on his face right now, no one can resist pleasing him. No one is safe from his superior gifts.

“Why, of course we can,” Louis answers with a smile. He faces Ashton once more and adds, “Still, there’s no reason for you to be so stressed about this. After all, it’s impossible for anyone to dislike Harry, and since I’m King Louis the first, your handsome blond friend has to like me. It’s basically guaranteed, if you think about it.”

Ashton has no idea what that last part has to do with anything or what it even means, but at least his friends have agreed to try and welcome Luke into their little circle. Speaking of their circle, Ashton just now realizes that there’s one person missing from it.

“Where’s Calum?” he asks, though mainly to himself. He calls out for his third flat mate in a much louder tone. “Calum! Come into the kitchen, please!”

He has to shout for Calum a total of three times before the brunette finally drags himself into the kitchen, looking pouty and dazed. Ashton had forgotten that he’d been asleep this whole time, because Calum is pretty much always napping. Especially before going out for the night.

“What do you want?” he grumbles.

Behind Ashton, Louis whispers ‘the beast has been awakened’ while Harry giggles into his palm. It’s not far from the truth, though. Calum actually does look like he just might fall asleep while standing there, so Ashton puts two hands on his friend’s shoulders to keep him steady.

“Luke is here now, so we’ll be leaving in about an hour. In the meantime, you should turn that frown upside down!”

If anything, the frown on Calum’s face deepens, proving that he is unaffected by Ashton’s cheeriness. He starts to turn back around.

“I’ll be sleeping until it’s time to go.”

“Not so fast, mister!” Ashton grabs him by the shoulders and forces him to stay, much to Calum’s dismay. He whines about it but doesn’t attempt to retreat into their shared bedroom this time, so Ashton knows that he has won the battle.

“Here, have a brownie,” Harry says, lifting the plate towards Calum. “It’ll definitely wake you up and make you feel brand new.”

As expected, Calum is easily lured in by the offer of sweet treats. He goes over and stands by the other two, sighing in pleasure as he shoves one of the remaining brownies into his mouth. He doesn’t even complain when Harry wipes the side of his mouth with a napkin, or when Louis attempts to sneak a bite of his brownie. It’s almost as if the fudgy treat really does bring happiness to all.

Luke returns from the bathroom less than a minute later. He’s wearing the shirt that Ashton gave to him and his hair is mostly dry now, styled in a similar way that it had been the last two times that Ashton saw him. It’s a really good look on him, and he fills out the shirt quite nicely.

“Does this look okay?” Luke shyly asks, tugging at the hem of the shirt.

Harry gives him two thumbs up and a bright smile. “You look fantastic. Although, the sleeves are quite short so you may get a little cold... Maybe Ash has a flannel that you can borrow for the night?”

“Oh, he’d definitely look twice as cute with a flannel,” Louis chimes in. “Wouldn’t he, Ashton?”

Because Ashton knows exactly what they’re trying to do, he ignores them completely and points a thumb at Calum.

“That’s Calum, the one that you saw with me at the club last week. He’s sort of a grumpy butt right now, but usually he’s friendly.”

The way that Luke instantly stands up straighter and tries to appear more confident speaks volumes. He strides over to the counter and formally introduces himself, mentioning his last name as well and even offering his hand for Calum to shake. While it’s cute to see him so eager like this, Ashton feels bad for him. The poor boy still thinks that he has a chance.

“It’s nice to meet you, too,” Calum replies as casually as ever. He shakes Luke’s hand with the one that isn’t covered in chocolate crumbs.

Luke’s eyes widen a little. “You’re… Irish?”

“Scottish, actually.” Calum corrects him. “On my dad’s side.”

Luke makes a show of smacking himself in the forehead. “Shit, sorry! I always get the accents mixed up, I’m really sorry.”

“It’s alright, mate, really.” Calum laughs while waving a hand dismissively. “I take no offense.”

If Luke were a dog, Ashton is sure that in this moment, his tail would be wagging and his tongue would be hanging out of the side of his mouth. That image is the only way to accurately describe how he looks right now, staring at Calum like a puppy in love. Ashton just hopes that he doesn’t believe in love at first sight, since he’s going to be disappointed sooner or later.

Louis’ voice breaks the trance. “So, Lukey boy! What part of Australian are you from, anyway?”

“Um. West Sydney,” he answer bashfully, almost like a commoner addressing a king.

“Ah. Is that near the beach?”

“Well, it takes a bit of a drive to get there, but pretty much? Yeah.”

“Is it really?”

“Yes…?”

Suddenly, Louis laughs. “An Aussie who lives near the beach but is paler than everyone else in the room. Now _that’s_ irony.”

A chorus of laughter follows afterwards, even from Luke himself. It doesn’t look as if he minds the subtle teasing at all, and Ashton is glad for that. If he continues to hang around them long enough, he’ll soon learn that Louis is full of teasing.

Harry exhales a long sigh. “You know, I’ve always wanted to go to Australia. It seems like a scary place to be, though.”

“Why’s that?” Luke asks.

“Well, everything is so much _bigger_ down there, yeah? I’ve heard that even the spiders look like some sort of nuclear accidents who have somehow obtained super strength.” Harry shivers at the frightening thought. “Did you have a problem with spiders when you went there, Calum?”

Calum shakes his head. “We went to New Zealand, not Australia.” He turns to Luke and adds, “That’s where my mum’s family is from. We take a trip down there to visit them, every other year.”

“Ah, well.” Luke shrugs. “The spider aren’t too bad, I guess? I mean… there was this one time in Year 7 where the school had to be closed down for a week, after being overrun with huntsman spiders. One kid got bitten, but he survived so it’s no big deal.”

The kitchen goes completely silent as everyone stares at Luke in horror. After a short moment, his mouth curves into a sneaky smile.

“That was meant to be a joke…”

“Jesus Christ,” Harry mutters.

Ashton lets out a sigh of relief while Louis cackles and Calum laughs a little nervously.

“You cheeky bastard,” Louis says. He claps Luke on the shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. “You’re going to fit in perfectly.”

With a snap of his fingers, Louis turns around and walks over to one of the cupboards. “Y’know what this calls for?” He has to stand on his toes to reach the small glasses that they keep on the highest shelf, but once he gathers five of them, he searches through another cupboard and pulls out the bottle of cheap vodka that Ashton bought the previous week. Then, he smiles at them all. “Pre-drinks!”

The mention of consuming alcohol livens up the room even more. While Harry and Calum crowd around Louis as he pours the alcohol into the five little glasses, Ashton and Luke stand back to wait for their turn.

Luke leans over to whisper, “I think that they like me.”

The almost childish happiness in his tone puts a smile on Ashton’s face. And since he’s feeling just a bit childish as well, he leans over and whispers:

“I think so, too.”

***

They go to a different nightclub this time. It’s not as big as the last one and Ashton has never been here before, mainly because it’s another gay club, but the bouncers are not as strict and it doesn’t take them long to be allowed inside. And just like the previous club, the music is loud as fuck and the moving bodies on the dance floor seem to morph into one.

Ashton loves it.

“Go! Go! Go!” he shouts in unison with Harry.

At the moment, the two of them are being the judges of a drinking contest between Luke, Louis, and Calum. The three contestants hurriedly down each shot, trying desperately to finish all of the little glasses before the others. Calum starts to struggle after downing his fourth shot, suddenly dissolving into a fit of coughs as the alcohol in his throat goes down the wrong pipe. He’s far behind by the time that he stops coughing, so he doesn’t try to catch up.

On the other hand, Louis and Luke manage to drink all of theirs at lightning speed. But Louis comes out as the winner, finishing his last shot mere seconds before Luke finishes his. It’s a close call, which is surprising. Ashton doesn’t know anyone that can gulp down alcohol as quickly as Louis can, so the fact that Luke nearly beat him is impressive.

“You did great!” Louis shouts, patting Luke on the shoulder as he struggles to catch his breath.

They’re both smiling like a couple of drunken fools, and Ashton supposes that they are for downing so much alcohol in so little time. But he also supposes that all five of them are drunken fools, and that’s okay. It’s Friday night and they deserve to let loose, after dealing with a full week of classes and snooty professors.

Harry comes up from behind and leans all over Louis, chin resting on his shoulder and arms snaked around his small waist to pull him in for a hug of some sort. Louis giggles as if being tickled, though it’s likely just due to being inebriated.

“Our winner deserves a prize,” Harry says into Louis’ ear; he probably has no idea that he’s being loud enough for everyone else to hear as well, or maybe he just doesn’t care. “What would you like, hm?”

The suggestive tone that he uses can only imply one thing, but Louis gives it some thought, humming to himself and tapping a finger against his chin. When he decides on what he wants, he applauds himself and laughs again.

“Dancing! I want to dance now. Let’s go dancing.” He pulls away from Harry’s embrace and takes one of his hands instead. Just when it looks as if they’re about to head over to the dance floor, Louis uses his free hand to point at Luke. Then, he smirks. “And you’re coming along with us!”

Luke points to himself in surprise, as if there might be an invisible person standing in front of him and Louis is pointing at them instead. He gets his answer when Louis grabs his hand and pulls him along as Harry leads them to the dance floor. They don’t go far since the place is already full, so Ashton can still see them as they begin to dance. Being the smallest, Louis positions himself in the middle while Harry dances in front of him and Luke (awkwardly) dances behind, looking a bit flustered with Louis’ ass against his crotch. His shyness only slips away when he realizes that Harry has no problem with Luke grinding against his boyfriend, and once it’s obvious that he’s starting to have a lot of fun as he dances with them, Ashton looks away from the scene, smiling and shaking his head.

“They’re going to wear him out before the night is over,” he says.

When Ashton doesn’t get a reply or even a sound of acknowledgment, he turns his head to find Calum smiling at his phone. Clearly, he hasn’t heard a single word that has just been said. In retaliation, Ashton pinches his arm.

“Ow!” Calum yelps. He gives Ashton the dirtiest look, making the older boy laugh. “What the hell was that for?”

“I was speaking to you! Have you never been taught that it’s _rude_ to ignore others?”

This time Calum ignores him on purpose. He goes back to giving his undivided attention to his phone, typing up a quick reply to a text message and smiling when he presses send. Ashton knows exactly what causes that smile.

“Let me guess. You’re texting Michael?”

“Yep. He said that he’s almost here now.”

“So basically, your one night stand has turned into a one _week_ stand?”

Recognizing the implications of those words, Calum rolls his eyes and doesn’t respond immediately. Ashton knows that the redness in his cheeks isn’t because of the alcohol in his system, either.

“He’s a really cool person to be around,” Calum says, so quietly that Ashton almost doesn’t hear him over the sound of the music.

“Do you like him, then?”

Calum nods without looking away from his phone. Honestly, that’s the cutest reaction.

“You should ask him out, I’m sure he’ll say yes.”

At last, Calum looks at him again. What Ashton finds in that expression is true happiness mixed in with excitement.

“I plan to do that tonight,” Calum replies, grinning happily. “He says he likes Thai food. I haven’t eaten any in ages, so I’m gonna take him to a restaurant and we’ll pig out together. Um, if all goes well tonight.”

Smiling back at him, Ashton nods. “It will.”

In truth, he hasn’t seen Michael since that night a full week ago. He’s aware that Calum has gone over to Michael’s place a few times, since then. He’s also aware that they’re always texting each other, and sometimes Ashton finds Calum staring at his phone like a love struck fool. They’ve only known each other for a week, but from the looks of it, there’s something special between them already. Ashton hopes that Calum will formally introduce Michael to him in the near future.

“He’s here,” Calum says all of a sudden. He quickly hops up from the bar stool and pockets his phone. “I’m gonna go and meet him at the entrance.” He stops after taking just two steps and turns back to Ashton with a frown. “Er, if you’re okay with that? Because I can just tell him to find us at the bar instead. I don’t wanna, like, ditch you or anything.”

Although it’s very considerate of Calum to actually consider Ashton’s feelings this time, he laughs and shakes his head, waving for Calum to leave already.

“I’ll be fine, really. You make me sound like a lonely old man! Now go and have fun with your future boyfriend.”

The use of the word _boyfriend_ puts the dopiest smile on Calum’s face, and then he’s rushing through the crowd and out of Ashton’s line of sight.

One thing that Ashton realizes rather quickly, is that he’s a liar. Technically speaking, he isn’t an old man. No, he’s far from it, and being twenty-one years old, this year is supposed to be his _prime_. But even if he’s still young, he can’t deny that he’s feeling a tad bit lonely now. He’s lonely because, once again, he’s drinking alone while his friends have fun with each other. Harry and Louis are, well, _Harry and Louis_. Otherwise known as soulmates. From the looks of it, they’re probably going to convince Luke to have a threesome with them pretty soon. Meanwhile, Calum is off somewhere with Michael and the two of them will probably become boyfriends within the next week or so, leaving Ashton all by himself.

Let’s get one thing straight: he’s not bitter about this. No, he refuses to call it bitterness. He just wishes that there was a special person for him to dance provocatively with. He wishes that there was someone who made him smile at his phone constantly, whenever they send texts back and forth. Ashton craves all of those things and more, but he doubts that he’ll be getting any of it soon.

Yet, that’s when his eyes land on _her_. He sees her standing there on the opposite side of the bar, wearing a tight black dress that hangs low in the bust area. And since Ashton doesn’t want to be a typical _bro_ , he lets his eyes drift north and takes in those details instead. He doesn’t wear his glasses to nightclubs but he can tell that she’s quite pretty, and her long, dark curls are to die for. So, she isn’t the usual type that he goes for, since he’s always had a thing for blondes; but she’s gorgeous and totally looking straight at him, so he tries for a smile. Smiling at her turns out to be the perfect move, because now she’s coming over to his side of the bar and Ashton desperately wishes that Calum had stayed, maybe then he could’ve had someone tell him if his breath smells and if his hair looks okay.

Apparently, Ashton really should start wearing his glasses when he goes out. He only realizes this when the woman walks straight past him, then stops in front of the cute brunette sitting a couple of bar stools away from him. The gorgeous dark-haired girl asks to buy the brunette a drink, who blushes a lot but still smiles and nods her head, and Ashton turns away from them because now he’s feeling three times as lonely as before.

Out of nowhere, someone plops down in the bar stool next to Ashton.

“Hi!” Luke shouts at him, a little louder than necessary because he’s still quite drunk.

“Hey,” Ashton replies. He smiles despite his current mood. “Did you have fun dancing?”

Luke happily nods. “I did! But, now they’re making out so I figured I’d come back over here and be with you instead.”

Ashton snorts. “Yeah, they do that a lot.”

Luke, however, begins to frown. “Hey, where did Calum go?”

He leans to the side as if Ashton’s body might be blocking the other boy, but when he doesn’t find any sign of Calum, the frown on his face deepens. Looks like now is the time to break the news to Luke, so Ashton tries to let him down gently.

“He, uh… went to go meet up with someone,” he says, searching Luke’s face for any signs of sorrow. He finds none, so he continues. “Y’know, the redhead from last week? His name’s Michael. They’re hanging out somewhere around this place, I don’t know.”

What Ashton sees in Luke’s eyes now is not sadness, but disappointment. He nods at Ashton’s words but doesn’t say anything else on the subject, and resorts to slouching in the bar stool that he’s sitting on. If anything, he just looks like he’s pouting. That’s a whole lot better than crying, Ashton supposes. Still, they’re supposed to be having fun, so he throws an arm around Luke’s shoulder and gives him the biggest of smiles.

“Cheer up! There are plenty of good-looking lads around here. And since you’re good-looking yourself, I’m sure at least one of them will fancy you.” Luke smiles at the compliment, just as Ashton had hoped. “Look, I’ll even help you search for someone to chat with. What do you like?”

“Huh?”

“I mean just what I said! What type of guys are you into?”

“Um…” Luke chews on his bottom lip as he considers the question. “I guess that I like… muscular guys?”

“Okay.” Ashton turns around and begins searching through the crowd of people. When he finds someone muscular, he tries discreetly pointing them out to Luke. “Like that guy?”

For some reason, Luke just laughs. “No, not like that guy… Jesus, he’s almost as built as The Rock.”

“You said that you like ‘em muscular, though!”

“And I do, it’s just…” He shrugs. “Maybe not _that_ muscular. He could probably crush me with a hug. So, I guess I just prefer lean men?”

Ashton smirks. “Like Calum?”

“Yeah…”

Based on the way that Luke goes silent again, Ashton guesses that he probably shouldn’t mention Calum right now.

“Alright, so lean men with just a bit of muscle. What else? Any preference for hair color?”

“Not really.” Luke glances up and meets his gaze. He seems to study Ashton for a moment before replying. “I guess I like it if they have enough hair, though. Like, enough for me to tug on… Oh, god. Is that too much? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“No, no, you’re fine.” Ashton giggles lightly. “Anything else?”

“I like it when they have really pretty eyes.”

“Define pretty.”

“Bright,” Luke explains. “Big and bright eyes. The color doesn’t matter much, as long as they’re bright and… honest?”

Ashton nods. “I see, I see… Is that all, then?”

“No. It helps if they have a beautiful smile, too. I think that a person’s smile is their most important physical feature, because you get to see what they look like when they’re happy. Then you start wanting to be the person who makes them smile, you know?”

Luke gets so into his own explanation that he hardly notices his own movements, until he’s practically leaning against Ashton, weaved into his personal space. Right now, Luke’s eyes are as bright as the moon and his smile is nothing but honest, and Ashton feels like he’s holding his breath as he waits for something to happen. He doesn’t even know what he’s waiting for or why, but his heart is thumping in his chest a little faster than normal and suddenly, he’s afraid.

To make the strange feeling stop, Ashton clears his throat and looks away from Luke, his eyes focused on the empty glass in front of him.

“Well, if I see anyone who fits that description, I’ll make sure to point him out to you.”

If Luke responds to that, Ashton doesn’t hear it. The DJ starts playing a popular song that apparently everyone knows, because they all begin to cheer at the same time and in this moment, all other sound is lost.

***

They leave the club about an hour before closing time. Calum ends up leaving with Michael sometime before that, which comes as no surprise to anyone else in their group. Harry and Louis disappear a few times during the night, but they always show back up eventually. Besides, anyone could guess what they’ve been up to, with their messy hair and their inability to keep their hands off each other.

In contrast, Luke and Ashton spend most of their time at the bar, alternating between chatting about anything and everything and getting even more drunk. They never do find a guy that fits Luke’s description, mainly because they give up searching. They dance with each other once before deciding to call it a night, and after finding Louis and Harry snogging near the bathrooms, they call a couple of cabs and exit the building together.

“This is the best night, _ever_!” Luke shouts at the night sky.

They’re standing outside in the cold as they wait for their respective cabs. Luke, who is the most sloshed of them all, has to lean against Ashton to stay upright. Also, he didn’t take Harry’s earlier advice about borrowing a flannel or something to keep him warm, so he whined about the cool air biting his exposed skin until Ashton wrapped his arms around him. Ashton doesn’t mind the closeness, though. He’s still a bit drunk and feeling quite happy with himself, so he giggles whenever Luke shouts something random.

Harry and Louis have mostly sobered up by now, since they spent the majority of the night doing other things instead of drinking. So as they stand together just a few feet away, arms wrapped around each other for extra warmth, they indulge in Luke’s silliness.

“I hope that we showed you a great time,” Louis says, smiling at the blond.

“You did! You really, really did.” Luke’s tone suddenly turns quite serious. “You guys are so awesome, did you know that? You’re my friends, my _best_ friends. I didn’t have any before but now I do! Isn’t that fucking awesome? Thank you for liking me. I love you.”

“Aw,” Harry coos. “We love you, too.”

“You have to come out with us again soon,” Louis says. “We’d absolutely _love_ to dance with you again.”

“You could also come over for a baking lesson, if you want,” Harry adds. “I’ll show you how to make the brownies, alright?”

Luke nods at all of this, thanking them time and time again. Both of the cabs pull up a minute later, one for Luke and the other meant for the three of them. While Harry and Louis eagerly climb into the cab and out of the cold, Ashton helps Luke get into the other one.

“Ashton, wait!” Luke blurts all of a sudden, forcing him to pause.

“What? What is it?”

Luke stares up at him with wide eyes. “Your shirt… I’m still wearing it. Here, I’ll take it off and give it back to you now.”

“No, no—don’t do that!” Ashton laughs so hard that he nearly stumbles on the curb. “Keep it for now, alright? You can give it back to me another time, but I really don’t mind either way. I hardly wear it anymore, so.”

“Oh.” Luke giggles into his palm. “You’re so nice. Nicest person I’ve met so far. Thank you.”

Drunk or not, those words come off as being nothing but honest, so Ashton takes them to heart. He makes sure that Luke is settled before shutting the door for him, then he scurries over to the other cab and climbs in next to his flat mates. Somehow, Harry is sitting halfway in Louis’ lap, but they’re both buckled up so Ashton doesn’t feel the need to chastise them.

The first thirty seconds of their ride is spent in silence, until Harry yawns and says in a quiet tone:

“Luke is a nice boy. I like him.”

Louis hums in agreement. “He’s a very nice boy. Very nice indeed.” He pauses to yawn as well. “It’s a pity that Ash is straight, innit?”

“A great pity,” Harry says, nodding.

Ashton turns his gaze from the window and stares at the two of them, frowning in confusion.

“What?”

“We think it’s a pity that you’re straight,” Harry repeats.

“No, I know what you said. Why, though?”

Louis lets out an exasperated sigh and gives him an impatient look. “Oh, c’mon, Ash. Use that thick head of yours. It’s obvious that the poor boy is attracted to you, probably a little more than you or I are aware of. It’s a sticky situation to be in, but I’m sure he’ll get over it soon enough.”

“What are you even saying?” Ashton starts to laugh, as he assumes that it’s just a weird joke. He abruptly stops when the other two simply stare at him. “You’re wrong about that, you know. Luke is into Calum, he doesn’t like me.”

Louis just snorts and stares straight ahead. “Of course he doesn’t. Just like apples don’t grow on trees.”

The silence returns to them once more, but it doesn’t last for long. Harry yawns for the second time.

“I remember when I fell in love with a straight boy,” he murmurs. “He was very loud and a little bit obnoxious, but he treated me a lot nicer than he treated everyone else. And instead of asking me out like a normal person, he wrote me a poem. I don’t think he realized that ‘curls’ and ‘smell’ didn’t rhyme.”

Louis pretends to sound offended. “Excuse me, _Harold_. Don’t pretend that I was the sappy one when you’re the one who wouldn’t stop bragging about wrapping my Christmas present, all by yourself. Also, I was never straight. I just hadn’t accepted myself yet.”

“Fine. I think that we’re both equally sappy.” Harry smiles his sleepy little smile and presses a kiss to Louis’ cheek. “As I’ve said before, I’m glad that you accepted yourself. I’m also glad that you wrote me that poem that didn’t rhyme, and I’m glad that you’re mine.”

Louis chuckles softly and chases Harry’s lips. “I see what you did there.”

They spend the rest of the time snogging while Ashton spends it within his own thoughts. It’s weird to think that Luke might like him. And no, it’s not because of the fact that Luke is a guy. Ashton is not nearly as immature as his younger self, who would have cringed at the thought of another boy liking him. He’s a lot less ignorant now, thanks to higher education and the queer friends that he’s made. But he still thinks that it’s weird, because what reason would Luke have to like him? Ashton sees himself as being pretty average, at best. And compared to some of the really gorgeous guys that he’s seen at the nightclubs—and compared to a gorgeous guy like _Calum_ —Luke choosing him over all of them is almost unfathomable.

No, it’s completely unfathomable, and that’s why Ashton chooses to ignore the words of his friends.

***

The following Monday, Ashton takes Luke to the London Library.

At least, that was the original plan. Yet, Ashton has been standing in front of the library for fifteen minutes now, with no sign of Luke anywhere. The other’s tardiness is certainly strange, since Luke seems like the type to arrive early, just in case. Ashton tries not to jump to conclusions, knowing that he’ll only stress himself out and then feel like an idiot when it turns out that he’d been worrying for nothing.

Therefore, he waits another minute for Luke to show up. Then two minutes. Once the third minute arrives, Ashton sighs in frustration and reaches for the phone in his pocket. It never hurts to send a quick text.

> **(12:17 PM) Ashton:**
> 
> Hey are you almost here?

Thankfully, he gets an immediate reply.

> **(12:17 PM) Luke:**
> 
> idk :-(
> 
> **(12:18 PM) Ashton:**
> 
> Ok… where are you then
> 
> **(12:18 PM) Luke:**
> 
> idkkkkk :-((((
> 
> **(12:18 PM) Ashton:**
> 
> Luke what the fuck
> 
> **(12:19 PM) Luke:**
> 
> Ash I really don’t know where I am  
>  everything is so confusing  
>  I almost walked into a streetlight just now :-/
> 
> **(12:19 PM) Ashton:**
> 
> omg are you lost or something
> 
> **(12:19 PM) Luke:**
> 
> A bit… :-(
> 
> **(12:20 PM) Ashton:**
> 
> Ok first of all, watch where you’re going  
>  second of all, which street are you on?

As a result, Ashton spends the next couple of minutes directing Luke through the streets of London. They FaceTime each other to make things a lot easier, and Luke apologizes at least a dozen times before he’s convinced that Ashton forgives him. As it turns out, his cabbie dropped him off two blocks away and his GPS hasn’t been cooperating with him, which is the reason that he ended up going in the opposite direction. They work together to correct this mistake, and soon enough, Luke comes into view at the end of the street.

“I see you now! Turn around, I’m waving at you,” Ashton says. Of course Luke turns the wrong way again. “No, no. The other way!”

When Luke whirls around and finally spots Ashton waving at him, he enthusiastically waves back and begins to jog down the sidewalk.

“I see you, too! Did you see me waving?”

“Mhm, I did see you waving.”

“Cool.” Luke lets out a relieved sigh. “I really don’t want to get lost again.”

Ashton chuckles. “You won’t, so long as I’m with you. Also, you can hang up now.”

“Oh, right.”

Luke approaches him just a few seconds later, and now that they’re close enough, Ashton can see that he’s definitely blushing. He must be embarrassed about getting completely lost and needing to be guided through the streets.

“I am _never_ doing anything like that again,” Luke huffs.

Ashton teases him, just because. “Don’t worry, you probably will.”

They enter the library together, and Ashton gets to see the priceless look on Luke’s face as he glances around at everything. To Ashton, it’s just another library. But for Luke, it’s yet another place that he can brag to his friends and family back home about visiting. It’s completely new territory for him, so it’s no wonder that he’s so excited about being here.

Since they’ve just been standing at the entrance for at least two minutes now, Ashton clears his throat.

“So, is there anything in particular that you’re searching for?”

“I… I don’t really know,” Luke mutters.

Ashton laughs. “That’s alright. What do you like to read?”

“Actually, I’m not that much of a reader.” Luke turns to him with a sheepish grin. “I prefer watching documentaries and stuff? I do read every once in a while, though. Mainly for schooling. But, I used to read a lot more when I was younger.”

“Well, then. That’s not too bad.” Ashton takes a few steps forward before glancing over his shoulder. “C’mon, we may as well have a look around.”

They begin browsing through books on the first floor and gradually making their way up. If there’s one thing that Ashton loves about the library, it’s the silence that it provides; and since silence often translates into peace, Ashton enjoys coming here on his most stressful days. The atmosphere in the library never fails to calm him down, allowing him to sort his jumbled up thoughts before leaving. Sometimes he wonders if it’s the same for all of the other visitors.

Because the library is quite big, Ashton loses Luke a few times. He always finds the other boy a few minutes later, though, flipping through a book with maximum concentration or scanning the vast shelves until something catches his eye. It’s rather entertaining to watch. What’s even more entertaining is the loud gasp that comes from Luke when he finds something fascinating to him, and then he covers his mouth and glances around with wide eyes, as if someone will come to arrest him for making a single noise. When it’s clear that that’s not going to happen anytime soon, Luke bounces up and down excitedly, waving Ashton to come closer.

“Ash, hey! Look at this!” he whispers, and Ashton doesn’t have to guess that he’s excited.

Since Luke won’t stop waving like a fool, Ashton goes over to him.

“What is it? Did you find something interesting?”

Instead of answering, Luke shoves a book into his face until Ashton reaches up and takes it from him. He reads the title aloud.

“ _The Legends of King Arthur and His Knights_ … sounds interesting.”

“Interesting? Just… _interesting_?” Luke sounds appalled, and he snatches the book away from Ashton. “Dude, it’s Arthurian legend! Nothing gets more interesting than King Arthur and his gang. What’s there not to love?”

“I don’t know, I guess I’ve just never been into that sort of thing.”

That confession earns a horrified gasp from Luke, which Ashton finds to be quite funny, so he ends up laughing.

“It’s not funny!” Luke insists. He’s clutching the book to his chest now, as if it were an infant. “How can you not be into the tales of the most legendary king? Jeez, I’m Australian and I’m more British than you. But listen, these stories are _epic._ My mum read a short story to me about King Arthur and Merlin when I was just a kid, and I’ve been hooked ever since then. It’s been a while since I’ve read a book about them, though. Oh, and also…”

For the next ten minutes or so, Ashton listens to Luke gush over King Arthur like the biggest fanboy. Apparently, when he was just ten years old, he begged his brothers relentlessly to dress up as the characters of the legend for Halloween. Luke talks about how his oldest brother, Ben, dressed up as King Arthur, while his other brother, Jack, was forced to be the wizard Merlin. Meanwhile, Luke insisted on being Queen Guinevere, and Ashton has to put a hand over his mouth to keep from giggling too loud. He’d give anything to see little Luke in an adorable dress and wig.

After that, Luke talks briefly about the actual legends and deeds of the king. Ashton has to admit that it’s very interesting stuff, but he only half listens to the things that Luke tells him. Mostly, he chooses to focus on just how _passionate_ Luke is about this stuff. For someone who claims not to be much of a reader, he sure does have great memory of miniscule details and facts. And even though Ashton eventually gets lost and doesn’t understand a single thing that Luke is saying, he thinks that it’s ridiculously cute. Luke is so, _so_ cute while rambling on and on about the stories, and Ashton can admit that without it meaning anything deep. The boy is just too cute, okay? He doesn’t have to be attracted to Luke to be able to see that.

“So, yeah. That’s pretty much why I really love the stories,” Luke says, wrapping up his long explanation. Suddenly he starts to look a tad embarrassed, as he brings a hand up to rub the back of his neck. “Um, sorry for talking so long.”

“No worries, mate. I do that sometimes, too.” Ashton gives him a reassuring grin. “Are you going to check the book out, then?”

Luke considers it for a handful of seconds, but eventually, he shakes his head.

“Hmm… no.” Without warning, he shoves the book at Ashton again, forcing him to hold it. “You are, though.”

Ashton frowns. “Me?”

“Yes, you. You’re going to read it and then tell me all about it when you’re finished. I promise that it’ll be worth it.”

“Luke,” Ashton groans. “You have got to be kidding me.”

Luke isn’t kidding with him, though. “Please, Ash? Pretty please? Even if you just read the first chapter, I’ll be grateful.”

The fact that Ashton hasn’t set the book back on the shelf gives away the choice that he’ll go with. It may also have something to do with the big, hopeful smile on Luke’s face, the one that is incredibly hard to resist without preparation beforehand. So when Ashton sighs and begins to walk back the way that they came, still carrying the book in his hands, Luke knows that he’s won.

“I’ll read the whole thing on one condition,” Ashton says over his shoulder.

“What is it?”

“You’re paying for our lunch.”

“Lunch?” Luke is so surprised that he nearly trips as they descend the staircase. He recovers within seconds. “We’re going to lunch?”

Ashton laughs while shaking his head. “Of course we’re going to lunch. It’s lunchtime, aye? I’m starving, so you’re going to treat me to a nice, English meal. Does that sound alright with you, Queen Guinevere?”

As they approach the circulation desk, Ashton looks over his shoulder once more to find Luke smiling back at him.

“That sounds perfect.”

***

Friday doesn’t come quickly enough, but even then, Ashton doesn’t get a break.

Unfortunately, since spending the majority of the week with Luke and taking him to all sorts of neat places, Ashton unknowingly gets behind on his studies. He only realizes this on Thursday night while lying in bed, which means that he’s spent most of his Friday correcting his mistakes and trying to catch up before Monday rolls around. Luckily, most of it involves reading long ass chapters and not actual work, so he’s not entirely stressed out.

About a couple of hours before Midnight—and just when Ashton thinks that he might pass out at his desk—there’s a knock at his door. Ashton doesn’t exactly answer so much as he does acknowledge the person with a sleepy groan, but they accept this as permission to enter and the door comes open.

“You sound like the Grinch,” comes Harry’s voice, and Ashton turns around in his chair to find his flat mate plopping down on his unmade bed.

“I feel like the Grinch,” he grumbles, scrubbing at his eyes.

“Have you really been reading and taking notes in here all day?”

Ashton nods and shrugs at the same time. Harry’s amused expression turns into one of concern.

“That’s not healthy. You need to take breaks and get some fresh air, once in a while.”

“I know, I know. I just don’t like to get behind on things. You know that.”

Harry nods in understanding. “Well, are you nearly finished?”

“Sort of.”

He smiles. “Good! The guys and I are going out tonight. You should come with.”

Instead of giving him an answer, Ashton swings back around and returns to reading from the text book in front of him. He flips to the next page at the same time that Harry begins to whine and beg.

“ _Ashtooon_ ,” he says in that low drawl of his. He starts to shake the back of the chair. “Come with us, it’ll be fun. I promise.”

“ _Harryyy_.” Ashton mimics him in a similar tone, trying not to laugh. “Leave my chair alone, I want to finish reading!”

“But, Ashy.”

“Ew, don’t call me that.”

“Fine.” Harry ceases messing with the chair, but he doesn’t leave just yet. “Why won’t you come?”

Ashton shrugs and keeps his eyes on the book. “I just don’t feel like clubbing tonight.”

“We’re not going to a club, though. We’re just heading over to the pub down the street, you know the one.”

“The gay pub?”

“Obviously.”

Ashton snorts, though he expects no less from his friends.

“You don’t have to stay for long,” Harry continues. “Just have a drink, yeah? It’ll loosen you up, and you deserve it.”

Right now, it doesn’t look as if Harry will give up prodding him about going out. A small part of Ashton wants to accept his invite, but the larger part of him knows that if he ends up hungover, there’s no way that he’ll finish reading everything tomorrow. And since Ashton refuses to do anything school related on Sunday, there’s no way that he’ll risk this. Therefore, it won’t hurt to tell a white lie.

“Alright, fine,” he says. Before Harry starts to celebrate, he adds: “But I’ll catch up with you all later on. I really want to finish this chapter, just so that I can cross it off my list of things to read. Deal?”

Harry nods without further complaint. “Deal.”

He quickly leaves the room after this, claiming that he needs to find something to wear before they leave. Ashton’s just happy that he remembers to shut the door on the way out. Now that the silence has engulfed him once more, Ashton returns to his reading in peace.

It’s an hour and a half later when Ashton blinks several times, realizing that he has just read the same paragraph about three times. When he tries to refocus, he finds that he’s unable to do so, as if his brain has called it quits and now he’s on his own. He finds solace in knowing that he only has a couple of pages left to read, so it won’t hurt to finally give up for the night.

After putting everything away and tidying up his desk, Ashton is surprised to find that it still isn’t midnight. Almost, but not quite. He hasn’t fallen asleep before midnight in ages, and even though he’s still tired, he realizes that he doesn’t actually want to go to bed just yet. In fact, he’s starting to consider keeping his promise to Harry and showing up at the pub. Who knows, maybe a drink really is all that he needs right now.

Ashton only has to consider it for thirty more seconds before coming to a decision. Then, he throws open the closet and searches for something to wear.

***

Upon arriving at the pub, Ashton doesn’t expect to find his friends nowhere in sight. But since the place isn’t all that big, he doesn’t have to look around for long to realize that they aren’t here. He does find Luke, though. He finds Luke sitting at the bar with his head resting on his arms, looking as if he has fallen asleep.

Ashton gently shakes his shoulder. When Luke’s head pops up, he realizes that he hadn’t been asleep at all. His is a bit drunk, though. That much is obvious, because of his red face and unfocused eyes.

“Ashton! What are you doing here? They told me that you probably weren’t coming.”

Ashton simply shrugs and takes the seat next to Luke. “I changed my mind. Where are the others?”

“Um, umm… Oh! They went club-hopping, I think. Yeah. That’s where they went.”

That causes Ashton to roll his eyes, because _of course_ they ended up going clubbing instead, even though Harry claimed that they wouldn’t. But while he’s unsurprised to hear this, he is surprised to see that Luke hadn’t gone with them.

“So they just… left you here? All by yourself?”

“No, no!” Luke rapidly shakes his head. “They didn’t leave me, really, they didn’t. I just didn’t want to go, so I stayed.”

“Oh… Why?”

“Just because.”

Although that isn’t much of an answer, Ashton doesn’t prod any further. He can easily tell that something is wrong, because Luke isn’t being his usual self. Sure, it’s only been two weeks since the night that they met, but Luke isn’t that hard to read. At least, not when he’s drunk.

Ashton waves the bartender over and requests a beer, since he wants a bit of alcohol in his system but isn’t looking to get totally shitfaced. Luke has gone back to resting his head on his arms, and since this unusual behavior is worrying Ashton, he rests a hand on Luke’s back and gently rubs it a little.

“Hey, what’s the matter with you?”

The back rubbing seems to get Luke’s attention more than the question does. He sits up and glances over his shoulder to look at Ashton’s hand on his back, but he doesn’t say anything about it so Ashton assumes that it’s fine.

“I’m just…” Luke starts, but then instantly stops. He gestures with his hand but it doesn’t make any sense, and even he knows that, so he huffs out a weak laugh and shakes his head. “Never mind. You’re going to think that I’m silly.”

Ashton hums. “What if I promise that I won’t?”

Luke takes a moment to stare at him, and based on his blank expression, Ashton’s not sure if he’s considering his options or just staring for no particular reason, since he isn’t at all sober. Several seconds go by where they’re both just staring at each other, and Ashton is the one to look away first.

“I miss my home.”

He says it so quietly that Ashton almost doesn’t hear it over someone cheering in the background.

“Oh,” Ashton mutters, just as quietly. “Do you not like England?”

Luke shakes his head. “It’s not that. I do like England. I just miss my home, y’know? I miss Sydney. I miss my mum and my dad, and I really miss my dog, Molly. I miss sleeping in my old room and I miss…” He laughs dryly. “The sun, god, I miss the _sun_. I used to complain about Australia being hotter than hell itself, but there’s nothing like the Sydney sun.”

Ashton isn’t entirely sure of what to say. It’s easy to come up with something nice to say when Calum is feeling down, and he knows exactly what to do to get Harry smiling again, no matter what the situation is. When Louis is upset, Ashton knows how to listen and he knows when to give his opinion on the matter. However, his friendship with Luke is still very much fresh, so he’s afraid that if he says the wrong thing, then Luke will shut him out for good.

Therefore, Ashton goes with a neutral response.

“Tell me about Australia,” he says. Luke looks at him in surprise, and Ashton grins. “What’s it like?”

“Well, um.” Luke takes a moment to gather his thoughts. “It’s… It’s beautiful. It really is. I guess I never realized how beautiful until the day that I left. There are plenty of nice places to see, too. Oh, and there’s this lake—every summer, my family and I would spend some time at our summer home near this lake. It’s a pretty big lake, filled with fish and everything! My dad would take my brothers and I on a boat and we’d go fishing, so early in the morning that I always fell asleep on the boat. Wanna know how they woke me up?”

“How?”

“With a fish. Jack would—” Luke starts laughing at this point, almost too hard to continue the story. It puts a smile on Ashton’s face. “Jack, that asshole. He would take one of the fishes and hold it in front of my face. Then he’d shake me awake and the first thing that I’d see was the damn fish, and I’d scream and jump so high that I nearly went over the side of the boat!”

At this point, both of them are giggling so much that some of the people nearby briefly turn to look. Neither of them notice, anyway. They’re far too absorbed in their own little world, and Ashton knows that he made the perfect decision of coming out tonight.

“Your brother sounds like quite the comedian,” Ashton says, once he’s able to stop laughing. “Y’know, I used to wonder what it was like to grow up with an older brother.”

“It’s not too late. You can have one of mine, if you want.”

They instantly erupt into giggles once again, and in this moment, everything seems right with the world.

Ashton listens to Luke go on and on about his adventures in Australia. He talks about summer vacations, the road trip that he and his family went on all across Australia, the strange dishes that Ashton has never heard of but would probably give them a try, and most of all, his dog. All of his stories are sweet and funny, and Ashton almost feels as if he were there. He feels honored that Luke trusts him with all of this information, even if they haven’t been friends for long. If anything, it brings them closer.

“My mum recently sent me this… stuffed penguin that I used to sleep with as a kid. She called me up the day after I got here, telling me that I left it behind and that she’s going to mail it to me as soon as possible. I said, ‘seriously, mum? It’s just a childish toy!’ but she kept insisting, and so I let her.” Luke shakes his head with a fond smile. “The funny thing is that I’ve slept a lot better, ever since it arrived. But, I guess that’s pretty weird, huh?”

“Aw, I think that it’s cute!” Ashton says, and he truly means it. “Did you tell her that?”

Unexpectedly, Luke sniffles. Ashton freezes in place as the first tear falls, and he feels incredibly awkward, just sitting there while Luke attempts to silently cry into his hands. He doesn’t do a good job at the silent part, since he keeps sniffling and Ashton swears that he hears a small whimper, too.

“I-I’m sorry,” Luke mutters, wiping at his wet cheeks with the back of his hands. It does nothing to stop the tear flow.

Ashton is still not entirely sure as to why Luke is crying, but he guesses that it has to do with missing his family and his home a lot. The fact that he’s still drunk obviously plays a factor, too. He’s unable to control his emotions right now, even though he tries. Ashton knows that he can’t instantly make things better, but he can reassure Luke that he isn’t alone.

So, Ashton pulls Luke into a hug. When he recognizes what’s happening, Luke eagerly throws his arms around Ashton’s shoulders and clings to him, face pressed into Ashton’s neck as he continues to cry. Ashton holds him tightly by the waist, one hand rubbing gentle circles into his shaking back.

“There, there. Easy now,” Ashton murmurs soothingly. He hopes that it’s actually helping. “It’s alright to cry, Luke. It’s alright that you miss your family an awful lot. I know that I miss mine, and they don’t even live more than an hour away. Everything will be alright, though. I promise.”

Luke mumbles something incoherent, but Ashton just nods and repeats that it’ll be okay soon enough. They hold onto each other for just a couple of minutes longer, and Luke is the one to break the hug. When he pulls away, he’s still sniffling a little, but he isn’t crying. Ashton counts it as a victory.

“Wow.” Luke laughs awkwardly, his eyes cast down at the floor. “That was… extremely embarrassing.”

“Hey, don’t worry. I won’t tell a soul.” Ashton makes the gesture that means that his lips are sealed, earning a genuine smile from Luke.

“You know, you’re a really nice person,” Luke says to him. “Have I ever told you that? Because I mean it. You are really, really nice. Actually, I don’t think I’ve met anyone as nice as you before, either. You’re, like… one of a kind.”

Ashton starts to blush. “Thanks. I do think that you’re exaggerating a bit, though…”

“No, no, I mean it!” Suddenly, Luke reaches out and grabs both of his hands. “You’re just so _nice_ that I can’t believe it sometimes! Like, it’s not every day that someone lets me cry on their shoulder, y’know? You’re really awesome and I’m so, so glad that we’re friends.”

Right. They’re friends. Good friends, if they take into account the events of tonight. Being friends with Luke is what Ashton has wanted since the very beginning, so why is his heart beating so fast in his chest right now? What’s up with the strange feeling in the pit of his stomach, and why are his hands starting to sweat a little? The hands that Luke is still holding in his own? People don’t react this way with their friends, so Ashton berates his body and his brain and tries to block everything out as best as he can.

And, drunk or not, they shouldn’t be holding hands like this. People might get certain ideas about them, and they may even get the same ideas about themselves. That’s why Ashton is the first to drop his hands back into his lap. They still feel a bit tingly, though, so he uses one hand to pick up the abandoned mug of beer that he let sit there for a while.

Luke is smiling at him, so Ashton smiles back before bringing the rim of the glass to his lips for a sip.

The beer is no longer as cold as he would like for it to be, but Ashton downs it anyway.

***

Apparently, having someone cry on your shoulder and embracing them for several minutes really does bring that person closer to you, in a sort of weird way that actually isn’t so weird at all. In other words, after the night at the pub, Luke and Ashton begin spending even more time together, and both can agree that it’s been their most wise decision yet.

Because both of them are full-time students, they often meet up with each other between classes, sometimes just to chat for a few minutes, other times to get lunch together or even just a cup of coffee. It’s really nice, because not only does Luke stop feeling lonely, but Ashton does as well. He no longer minds it whenever Harry and Louis temporary forget that he exists, even when he’s standing right there. He also doesn’t mind that Calum is constantly spending time with Michael, his new _boyfriend_ ; partly because Michael turns out to be a really funny guy, but mostly because Ashton can just hang out with Luke instead.

Texting each other is what they do most of all, though. They basically text each other from dawn ‘til dusk, and Luke often sends him random pictures of English things that he discovers. Ashton absolutely loves when this happens, because Luke is always fascinated by the simplest of things, whether it’s an English snack that he has never tried or an ordinary object that he sees while walking down the street. It’s as if he’s become a popular traveling blogger, and Ashton is his only audience.

However, cute pictures isn’t the only thing that Ashton receives from Luke.

It happens on a Saturday afternoon, when none of them have anywhere in particular to be. Harry is the only one of Ashton’s flat mates who is absent, since he had to make an emergency trip to his home in Cheshire. The cat that he's had since a little boy is dying, and Harry wants to be there for it. Louis would have gone with him, but Harry urged him to stay in London, since Louis can’t afford to miss a single rehearsal for the play that he’s starring in. In fact, the premiere for the play is coming up soon and they’re all excited to go and support Louis.

One thing that Ashton has learned since befriending Louis, is that he’s incredibly clingy. Harry hasn’t been gone for twenty-four hours, and yet Louis wouldn’t stop sulking around their flat, moaning about how lonely he was and that he should’ve been there with Harry to provide emotional support. So, to get him to stop being so annoying, Ashton turned on the _X Factor_. In less than a minute, Louis had plopped down on the sofa and began giving his full attention to the television.

At the moment, Calum and Ashton are sitting on either side of Louis. All of them have their eyes glued to the screen in anticipation, but every once in a while, Ashton looks away to check his phone for any text messages from Luke. Earlier that morning, they were having a heated debate about which tea is the best kind of tea, when Luke suddenly stopped replying.

No big deal. Ashton is a big boy, he can wait.

Finally, his phone buzzes. Ashton picks it up in what seems like a nanosecond, and he drops it back down to the couch cushions almost as quickly, when he sees the picture that Luke has sent him. Neither Calum nor Louis notice that he’s flustered beyond belief, so Ashton tries to keep it that way.

> **(2:31 PM) Luke:**
> 
> [[image](https://41.media.tumblr.com/4d4194ced6d39738446c71b9f405711d/tumblr_nuou3tNzJX1rtd06bo1_500.jpg)]
> 
> **(2:31 PM) Luke:**
> 
> wait  
>  WAIT OH FUCK  
>  SHIT DONT LOOK AT THAT  
>  FCUK HOW DO I UNSEND A TEXT  
>  AHDFJKDSK
> 
> **(2:33 PM) Ashton:**
> 
> UMMMMM…  
>  MIND EXPLAINING THIS????????
> 
> **(2:33 PM) Luke:**
> 
> YE S I CAN EXPLAIN  
>  ok listen  
>  that picture wasn’t meant for you omfg
> 
> **(2:34 PM) Ashton:**
> 
> Yeah no shit………
> 
> **(2:34 PM) Luke:**
> 
> I swear it wasn’t ok  
>  im not trying to harass u or anything  
>  I meant to send that to someone else!!!  
>  but im an idiot who doesn’t pay attention  
>  not even when sending…things like that  
>  fuck im so sorry :-/

Louis cackles at something on the television, reminding Ashton that he’s not alone and he really should be right now. Without a word, he gets up from the sofa and exits the living room. Neither of the other two boys question his departure or even seem to notice much, so Ashton retreats into his and Calum’s bedroom and quietly shuts the door behind him.

Now that he’s alone, Ashton lets out the deep breath that he’d been holding. Just for good measure, he takes a few more deep breaths, before throwing himself onto his bed. With his face buried in his pillow, only now does he begin laughing to his heart’s content. He’s unable to help himself, the situation is just far too hilarious. Awkward, too, but mostly hilarious. God, if only he could see the look on Luke’s face when he realized that he’d sent a picture of his _bare_ _ass_ to the wrong person. The mistake is such a Luke thing to do, and now that the initial shock has worn off, Ashton is quite endeared.

Suddenly, his phone is buzzing again.

> **(2:38 PM) Luke:**
> 
> still there??  
>  please tell me u didn’t block me
> 
> **(2:39 PM) Ashton:**
> 
> So who did you mean to send it to?
> 
> **(2:39 PM) Luke:**
> 
> Just… this guy that I met
> 
> **(2:39 PM) Ashton:**
> 
> Oh? You’ve never mentioned seeing a guy :o
> 
> **(2:40 PM) Luke:**
> 
> Well we met at the library last week  
>  he said he recognized me from one of the nightclubs  
>  we started talking and… yeah

The smile on Ashton’s face gradually dies down as he reads the new incoming text messages. He tells himself that the nasty feeling bubbling up inside of himself is because of anything but jealousy. He’s a little disappointed that Luke has never mentioned said guy, especially since they’ve become so close. Ashton has been under the impression that they can tell each other everything, because their fast-building friendship allows for such honesty. Apparently, he’s wrong.

> **(2:41 PM) Ashton:**
> 
> So are you dating him then
> 
> **(2:41 PM) Luke:**
> 
> Nah lol  
>  we’ve just been flirting and stuff
> 
> **(2:41 PM) Ashton:**
> 
> Stuff like sending pics of your bum :P
> 
> **(2:42 PM) Luke:**
> 
> fine yes that stuff lmao  
>  I doubt I’ll end up dating him tho
> 
> **(2:42 PM) Ashton:**
> 
> And why’s that?
> 
> **(2:43 PM) Luke:**
> 
> eh. he’s not really my type :-)

The relief that Ashton feels is immense. He tells himself that he’s relieved because, well, what if this guy is some sort of creep? After all, he claimed to recognize Luke from one of the nightclubs that he frequently visits, and that sounds a little more than sketchy. Like, _tons_ of people go to nightclubs, okay. The majority of those people are completely sloshed, so what are the odds of remembering a single face in the crowd? And, okay, so Luke’s face is quite unique and very beautiful, but still! It’s weird and unlikely, so Ashton sincerely hopes that Luke and the creep don’t do anything more than flirting.

They text each other a few more times before Luke says that he has to go, since he needs to get ready to have a ‘skype date’ with his parents. Ashton remembers Luke mentioning that it’s a thing they do every Saturday. It’s almost midnight in Sydney and they usually do the skype calls a lot earlier in the day, but Luke still wants to say goodnight to them, which Ashton thinks is very sweet.

Lying on his bed with his phone on his chest, Ashton stares up at the ceiling. The clear image of Luke’s ass keeps flashing before his eyes, no matter how much he tries willing it to go away. It just doesn’t make any sense; sharing a room with Calum, he’s seen plenty of ass and other private bits that he wishes he hadn’t. The same can be said about Harry as well, who will sometimes walk into the kitchen stark naked, just to get a glass of water. Living with people who are comfortable with their own nudity, Ashton has gotten used to seeing other boys naked. It’s no big deal to him, he doesn’t mind it and he doesn’t care.

And yet, a single picture of Luke’s bottom is the reason that he feels so strange right now. That picture is causing the heat to rise in his cheeks and his stomach to feel all fluttery. He doesn’t want to admit that he’s impressed by Luke’s soft body, but he is. He is impressed, and when he unlocks his phone to scroll through their chat and stare at the picture once more, Ashton tells himself that it’s for science reasons.

Luke doesn’t have a perky ass like Calum and his back isn’t toned like Harry’s, but it’s… nice. It’s very nice, until Ashton’s dick randomly twitches in his jeans and he drops his phone on his face, groaning in agony.

He doesn’t pick his phone up for the rest of the day.

***

They don’t talk about the picture incident, and Ashton is relieved for that. It’s better to just forget that it ever happened in the first place, instead of acknowledging the way that staring at Luke’s ass made Ashton feel. It’s better than admitting that it started to turn him on, and most of all, it’s better than acknowledging the dream that Ashton had that Saturday night, where Luke had _meant_ to send that picture to him and they ended up sexting.

Ashton can’t recall the last time that he had a dirty dream, and he refuses to acknowledge that it has happened again because of Luke. Why? Because dreaming is a tricky phenomenon, and this certainly isn’t the first time that he’s dreamt of doing something with someone that he would never do while awake. Plus, he’s straight. Straight guys don’t suddenly start sexting with their gay best friend. So, what’s the point in dwelling on a silly little dream? There is no point, and that’s why Ashton chooses to forget it.

But like most things in life, it comes right back to bite Ashton in the butt.

The premiere of the university’s drama and dance department arrives sooner than anticipated. The students will be performing _Grease_ , and Louis will be playing the character Kenickie. Everyone is extremely proud of him, and Louis has long since gotten over not being cast as the lead character, Danny Zuko. He occasionally loves to talk about how he starred as Danny in a play back in grade school, and therefore, he’d been hoping to get the part again. He’s satisfied with being Kenickie, though, and even admits that it’s a little more fun.

Unsurprisingly, Luke and Ashton sit next to each other in the audience, as they wait for the play to begin. Harry sits on his other side, then Calum, and Michael sits on the end. Louis’ mother and sisters are here as well, sitting somewhere in the crowd. Thanks to Louis, they get to sit pretty close to the stage, even though they’re not exactly in the front row. Ashton wouldn’t want to be, either, because he thinks that these seats are perfect.

 About two minutes before the show starts, Luke leans over and whispers into his ear.

“Do you think that there’s still time left to get a snack?”

Ashton gives him a look of disapproval. “What?”

“I’m really hungry, all of a sudden.”

“Why didn’t you eat before we left?”

“I wasn’t hungry when we left.”

What a typical Luke thing to say. Although it’s a little funny, Ashton groans and shakes his head.

“That’s too bad, because now the play is about to start and you’re not going anywhere.”

“Ashton,” Luke whines, and he squirms in his seat like a petulant child. “My growling stomach is going to be even louder than the play itself.”

“I’m sure you’ll manage.”

In retaliation, Luke knocks his foot against Ashton’s repeatedly, until the older boy has no choice but to relent.

“Alright, cut it out! I’ll give you a piece of gum for now. That’s all that I have.”

Luke claps his hands together while Ashton reaches into his back pocket, and even though he’s annoyed right now, he can’t stop himself for laughing a little at his friend’s silliness. Once he retrieves the single piece of gum that he’d been saving for himself, he hands it to Luke, who eagerly unwraps it and shoves it into his mouth. The huge auditorium is filled with chattering people, but being right next to Luke, Ashton can still hear him loudly chewing the gum. He tells himself that as long as he has patience, he won’t stick his fingers into Luke’s mouth and forcefully remove the gum.

Ashton loses his patience when Luke blows a bubble and pops it obnoxiously, right next to Ashton’s ear.

“Stop it!” he says, and his serious tone is betrayed when he starts to giggle. Luke giggles as well, so Ashton lightly shoves him. “Behave yourself, Luke. Or else.”

Luke raises his eyebrows, challenging him. “Or else what?”

Since two can play at this game, Ashton stares back into his mischievous blue eyes.

“Or else… I’ll have to punish you.”

The only reason that Ashton says that with a straight face is because he’s an idiot. The only reason that he says that _at all_ is because he’s an idiot who currently isn’t thinking about the implication of those words. Not until the playfulness melts from Luke’s face and he blushes, staring back at Ashton in shock.

“Wait.” Ashton starts quickly shaking his head, suddenly resembling a fish out of water. “Wait, that’s—oh, bloody hell. Not in _that_ way, I didn’t mean it like that at all! I just meant, uh, you know…”

While Ashton has some sort of internal crisis, Luke begins to laugh at him. He laughs so hard that his face goes a bit red and there are tears spilling from the corners of his eyes. Ashton struggles between punching him and laughing with him.

“Shhh!” Harry shushes them with a frown. “The play is starting. No more talking.”

In unison, Ashton and Luke pretend to zip their lips shut. Satisfied with the gesture, Harry leans back in his seat as the entire room goes dark for a brief moment. Ashton can hardly even see his legs in front of him. The entire theater quiets down at the same time as music begins to play, and as he prepares to watch the performance, Ashton rests his arm on the arm rest between him and Luke. It appears that Luke got the same idea in that same exact moment, but the arm rest is big enough for the two of them to share.

The problem starts when Ashton feels warm skin against the side of his hand. As the lights come back on, he sees that it’s Luke’s hand resting against his. He stares at the point of contact, feeling a bolt of electricity traveling from his pinky finger to the rest of his paralyzed body. Even as the narrator begins to speak, he can’t stop staring at his hand touching Luke’s, and he’s conflicted over whether or not he should move. If he pulls his hand away, will it be too obvious? Will it make things awkward and possibly hurt Luke’s feelings? But if he keeps his hand in that same spot, wouldn’t that be weird? And, what if Luke pulls away first? Maybe that would be the best outcome, yet for some reason, Ashton doesn’t think that he wants Luke to move his hand at all.

Therefore, for the entire duration of the play, their hands remain touching. Neither of them end up pulling away, and Ashton feels like his body is burning from the inside out.

***

After the play, they meet up with Louis to congratulate him on his spectacular performance. He and Harry disappear into a dressing room for a while, but no one comments on it. No one needs to, either. Afterwards, he leaves them to celebrate a successful show with the other cast members, but not without promising to meet them at their usual nightclub in about an hour or so.

That’s how Ashton ends up at Heaven Nightclub once again, the same nightclub that he and Luke met each other at. They’re celebrating because of Louis, who still hasn’t arrived yet, and that’s quite alright. Michael and Calum keep Harry company, for the most part; they get him drunk and dance with him to countless songs, while Luke and Ashton branch off to do their own thing. For some reason, this is how it always happens, and no one is complaining about it.

“Where’s your drink?” Ashton asks, staring down at the empty glass in Luke’s hand. He swears it was full just a second ago.

“I don’t know?” Luke laughs like the happy drunk that he is. “I guess I drank it!”

That causes Ashton to laugh, too, since he’s just as drunk at the moment.

“Stay here. I’ll get us some cocktails, alright?”

Luke nods his drunken little head and watches as Ashton makes his way over to the bar. They aren’t on the main floor where most of the club goers reside, but there are still quite a bit of people for Ashton to weave through. He makes it to the bar eventually, though, so that’s all that matters.

“Two martinis, please!” he shouts to the bartender.

While waiting for the drinks to be made, Ashton’s mind wanders to thoughts of Luke’s hand resting against his own. He remembers how warm and soft Luke’s skin felt, he remembers thinking that it was nice. Sure, he panicked a bit at first, but now that he’s drunk, he’s beginning to think: what’s the big deal? Their hands were touching, so what? It’s not the same as kissing, and if he thinks that Luke’s hand feels rather nice, there’s no shame in that. Because, again, it’s not the same as thinking that Luke has nice lips.

In fact, Ashton comes to the conclusion that he needs to tell Luke. He’s going to tell Luke that his hand is a really nice hand, and Ashton wants to touch it again. It’s the perfect compliment from one friend to another, he thinks. So after being handed his martinis, he puts on a bright smile and makes his way back over to Luke.

However, when Ashton’s eyes land on his friend, he finds that Luke is no longer alone. Some guy is standing in front of him, a guy that Ashton doesn’t recognize. He’s shirtless, too; just like a lot of the other guys in this place. That isn’t the problem, though. The problem starts when he invades Luke’s person space even more than he already is, and whispers something into his ear. Luke has his head down, so Ashton can’t read his expression. But he can tell that Luke must be uncomfortable, in this moment. His arms are crossed over his chest and he looks a bit stiff; combined with the fact that he won’t meet the stranger’s eyes, Ashton would say that he’s _definitely_ uncomfortable.

In truth, Ashton’s legs start moving even before he has fully come up with a plan to fix this situation. He just knows that he has to get rid of this guy, because Luke is uncomfortable and he shouldn’t have to be. Therefore, Ashton will protect Luke.

He comes up from behind and drapes an arm over one of Luke’s shoulders, careful not to spill the martini that he’s still holding. Without really thinking about it, he presses his body up against Luke’s so that he’s practically all over him. Luke gasps but doesn’t say anything, nor does he push Ashton off. So far, the plan is succeeding.

“Hey, baby,” Ashton says, and he lowers his head to kiss Luke’s shoulder. “Got your drink for you.”

“Thank you?” Luke mutters. He takes the glass from the hand that’s draped over him, and timidly sips from it. Clearly, he hasn’t caught on to what Ashton is trying to do for him yet, but since he isn’t rejecting it either, he must not mind the strange behavior.

Ashton finally glances at the guy in front of them, who seems to be frozen in place. “Who’s this?” he asks, sounding a mix between friendly and threatening. He’s not the type to be rude, but he will stand his ground.

The stranger frowns. “Who are _you_?”

Luke starts to answer. “He’s my—”

“Boyfriend,” Ashton cuts him off, much to the surprise of the other two. “I’m his boyfriend, obviously. We’re together. As in, we’re a couple. We’re dating. We kiss a whole lot, too. Just so you know.”

Alright, so Ashton knows that he isn’t the best actor, but he doesn’t expect it when Luke actually starts to laugh at him. He laughs and begins to relax once again, leaning back into Ashton’s embrace. Evidently, he’s finally caught onto the plan.

“This is my _boyfriend_ , Ashton,” Luke says, still giggling a little bit. He smiles down at the face over his shoulder. “I suppose that we do kiss each other a lot, don’t we?” He glances at the guy and adds, “Maybe not as much as we hug, though. We really can’t get enough of hugging.”

Ashton _cannot_ believe that Luke is teasing him right now. He’s only trying to help, and yet this is the thanks that he gets? How rude. He keeps up the façade, though. Once he involves himself in something, there’s no way that he’s backing down.

The guy glances back and forth between the two of them, and then he finally seems to get it. He gives them a tight smile and starts to walk away.

“I see. Have fun with that, then.”

Once he’s out of earshot, Ashton removes his arms from around Luke and gives him a bit of space. Luke turns around to face him.

“Thanks for that,” he says, and then he exhales a deep sigh, his eyes cast down at the floor again. “I’ve never been good at saying no to men.”

“Well, you just have to learn how,” Ashton tells him. “I won’t be with you all of the time, so when someone makes you uncomfortable or tries to take advantage of your shyness, you’ll have to get firm with them. Alright?”

“I know, it’s just…” Luke trails off before sighing again. He looks up but his eyes don’t meet Ashton’s, instead glancing at something or someone behind him. “Crap. He’s staring at us again…”

“Put your arms around me.”

“What…?”

Without repeating himself, Ashton reaches out and grabs Luke’s arms, then positions them around his waist until Luke gets the picture. They aren’t doing anything except hugging each other, but with Ashton’s face pressed to Luke’s neck like this, anyone would believe that he’s _kissing_ Luke’s neck instead. It comes easily because Ashton has done this once with Calum, during one of the first few times that he accompanied Calum to a nightclub. Some of these guys don’t understand that just because they’re attractive or muscular, doesn’t mean that they can have anyone that they want.

“Is he still looking?” he murmurs into Luke’s ear.

“Um… n-not really, no. He’s turning the other way now.”

“Good.” Ashton pulls back with a smile, and he pats Luke on the shoulder. “Feeling better?”

Luke gives a shaky nod. “But, um, maybe we should do something even more… couple-y? Y’know, just in case he comes back.”

After considering it for a second, Ashton hums. “Yeah, you’re probably right. Wanna dance?”

“Yes!” Luke agrees, beaming with excitement.

Ashton laughs before downing the remainder of his martini. Once that’s done with, he takes Luke by the hand and leads him over to the dance floor, where they find a spot that’s perfect for the two of them to squeeze in and face each other. Since they’re attempting to look like an actual couple, simply jumping around and being silly won’t cut it this time. That’s why Ashton grips Luke by the hips and moves with him to the beat of the music.

What’s surprising is that Luke is actually a pretty good dancer. Based on his other quirks, one would assume that he moves like an awkward turtle, but it’s quite the contrary. Now that they’re actually _dancing_ with each other for the first time, Luke reveals his true skills and ends up taking over the lead. Ashton has no problem with this change of events, either. He allows Luke to guide him, to touch his hips and his waist, to turn him this way and that way. Before Ashton knows it, he’s having more fun than he’s ever had at one of these nightclubs. To be honest, they should have done this a lot sooner.

Neither of them notice when the dance floor starts to get fuller and fuller, until everyone is practically squeezed up against each other. The person behind Ashton accidentally bumps into him, hard, and he thuds against Luke’s chest.

“I’ve got you,” Luke says, steadying him upright again.

Ashton only realizes how close they are when their foreheads touch, now that they’re leaning against each other. Both of them giggle at the same time for no particular reason, or maybe there is a reason, but neither of them care enough to figure it out. They’re just so happy to be here at the moment. They’re happy about a lot of things, actually. But most of all, they’re happy to be with each other and no one else.

Before Ashton knows it, he’s glancing down at Luke’s lips. Luke’s eyes flicker down as well, but they don’t follow the movement. They’re staring at Ashton’s lips now, and Ashton doesn’t need to be a mind reader to decipher what it means when Luke licks his lips. This is the part where they’re supposed to kiss. Ashton has seen it in the movies and read it in books. But what they don’t show you in movies or tell you about in the books, is that sometimes kissing is the exact opposite of what should be done. Sometimes, kissing does nothing but ruin everything, and Ashton has ruined too many things in his life so far, so he won’t ruin this.

Ashton pulls away so that he isn’t touching Luke anymore, and Luke isn’t touching him, either. Various people are still bumping and grinding around them, paying no attention when they bump into Ashton at all. But Ashton isn’t paying attention to them, either. Now, he can only focus on the bright blue eyes that stare back into his own.

“I think that’s enough for now,” Ashton says. He probably isn’t loud enough to be heard over the music and the people, but this is about as loud as he can manage right now. “He’s gone, so… we should go and find the others to finish celebrating.”

Afraid of what he’ll see, Ashton spins around immediately after that. He begins to make his way back to the main floor and doesn’t check behind himself to see if Luke is following him. A part of him thinks that it might be best if Luke doesn’t.

***

After the night of the premiere, Ashton decides to get his shit together. He also decides that being around Luke so much is messing with his head and making him feel things that aren’t actually there. Because they _can’t_ be there. He’s straight.

It’s a high possibility that Ashton is just lonely and seeking affection from anyone willing to give it. He doesn’t _feel_ lonely, but this must be the reason for nearly going through with kissing Luke. Yes, he was drunk, but that’s beside the point. What he needs to do is start casually dating again. He’ll find a nice girl to get lunch with, text back and forth with during the day, and go out for drinks with. Maybe then he’ll stop thinking of Luke so much. Maybe then he’ll get rid of that crude picture on his phone.

In the meantime, Ashton tries avoiding Luke—and let me tell you, it’s a whole lot harder than it should be. Because, first of all, it makes Ashton feel like shit. Luke is the sweetest, most innocent person that he knows, so it feels wrong to decline his invites and occasionally ignore his texts. It’s necessary, though. Ashton swears that it’s necessary.

Second of all, Luke still comes around regardless of being avoided, and that’s because Ashton isn’t his only friend now. He often hangs out in their flat, playing videos games with Calum and sometimes Michael, if he’s visiting as well. Sometimes he’ll come around just to watch football games with Louis, or talk about documentaries while baking with Harry.

Basically, it’s almost impossible to stay away from him, and Ashton doesn’t know how much longer he’ll be able to keep this up before it becomes obvious. From the look of things, it probably already is.

Taking a nap is not something that Ashton usually gets to do. But one ordinary Sunday, that’s exactly what he does. He sleeps for two full hours and wakes up feeling like crap, but he tells himself that it was worth it. Except, it’s three in the afternoon and he hasn’t eaten lunch yet, so he’s rather hungry. The thought of food is what drives him to get out of bed and leave his bedroom.

Walking down the hallway, Ashton can hear Harry’s voice coming from the kitchen.

“You’re doing really well. Keep stirring until it’s all mixed together, while I start on the icing. Calum, would you like to help with that?”

“Sure, seems easy enough.”

“Lou, don’t think that I don’t see you. The strawberries are for the cake. Leave them alone.”

“I’ve only eaten _one_ , for heaven’s sake!”

Ashton giggles to himself, but it instantly dies down when the kitchen comes into view and he sees who is in there.

“Is this alright?” Luke asks, tilting the bowl of cake mix for Harry to peer into it.

Harry nods and gives him a big smile. “That’s perfect! You may even be a natural.”

“Haz, Louis just ate another strawberry,” Calum says.

“You traitor!”

Since Ashton wasn’t aware until now that Luke is visiting, he decides that lunch can wait. Matter of fact, forget about lunch entirely. He’ll just have to starve until it’s dinner time and Luke is (hopefully) gone. As discreetly as he can, he spins on his heels and attempts to make his way back to the bedroom, but luck is no longer on his side.

“Ashton!” Luke calls after him.

It would be rude to pretend that he can’t hear Luke when he obviously can, so Ashton has no choice but to backtrack and reveal himself at last. He desperately tries ignoring the excitement in his tummy when Luke smiles at him. What makes it worse is that Luke is wearing the fluffiest grey striped sweater in the world, probably. He looks undeniably _cute_ and _soft_ , and no matter how hard Ashton tries, he can’t look away.

“They told me that you were taking a nap, so I didn’t want to disturb you. I’m glad that you’re awake, though. Did you sleep well?”

“Uh, yeah. It was…” He trails off, awkwardly scratching the back of his head. “Great?”

If anything, Luke smiles even wider. “That’s good, then. By the way, Harry is showing us how to bake a cake from scratch!”

“A three-layered strawberry cake using only fresh ingredients,” Harry adds.

Luke chuckles. “Yeah, what he said. Wanna help us?”

As much as Ashton enjoys baking with his friends, he knows what his answer will be. He knows what it _has to_ be, in order to keep things from going even further than they already have. That’s why he shakes his head at the offer.

“No, thanks. I think I might go back to sleep, actually. Still a tad exhausted.”

“Aw. Are you sure, though?” Luke holds up the spoon used for mixing the cake batter. “I’ll let you lick the spoon!”

“Tempting. But yes, I’m sure.”

“Damn. Okay, what if I—”

“ _Stop it_ , Luke.”

From the moment that those words leave his lips, Ashton knows that they sound a little too harsh for something that’s hardly a big deal at all. Everyone else knows it, too. All of them pause what they’re doing, before realizing that this is an awkward moment between Luke and Ashton only. Thus, the other three attempt to look as if they’re busy and not even paying attention to the conversation, even though they clearly are.

The fact that Luke looks like a hurt, confused puppy who has no clue what he did to deserve such treatment, makes Ashton feel like the worst of the worst. But despite being disappointed in himself, he can’t take it back now.

“Sorry,” Luke mumbles to the bowl in front of him, since he isn’t looking at Ashton anymore.

Ashton is at a complete loss for words, so he mutters that he’s going back to sleep and disappears down the hallway.

***

It takes a total of five days for Ashton to realize three very important things.

The first is that he’s beyond foolish. He’s basically an idiot and there’s no saving him for his own foolishness, not even now. The second thing that he realizes, is that he misses Luke terribly. He misses texting him for hours and hours, every single day, and he misses hanging out with the other boy. Ashton ruined that when he sort of yelled at Luke the other day, because of a stupid fucking cake. Ever since then, Luke hasn’t come back to their flat. Ashton hasn’t seen him on campus, either, and it really fucking sucks.

Now, the third realization doesn’t occur until precisely five minutes ago. While lamenting over how much he really misses Luke’s presence and stressing over his own foolishness, it hits him square in the face.

Ashton likes Luke. He really, really likes him.

If finally acknowledging his feelings for Luke isn’t frightening enough, now he’s terrified that he has ruined everything between them. Avoiding Luke has certainly been his worse decision yet, and now it’s probably too late to make things right again. He supposes that this is the fourth realization. If so, then Ashton kind of wants to bury himself alive.

The sound of a key turning a lock reaches Ashton’s ears, then the door comes open before being gently closed a few seconds later. Despite lying on the sofa and staring at the ceiling, Ashton knows that it’s Harry who has returned. Louis often slams the door, while Calum takes longer to close it.

“I’m home,” comes Harry’s voice, unsurprisingly. His voice gets louder as he reaches the living room. “Oh, and I’ve bought almond milk! It was on sale. Now, we can make those kale smoothies that we used to drink all the time, and… hey, are you alright?”

“No,” Ashton admits, and it takes so much for him to say that one word. It’s because he’s always been the person to keep everyone together, the person who sacrifices himself so that no one else will have to. He’s had to keep his feelings to himself ever since he was a little boy, and pretend that he was alright when he really wasn’t, just so that he wouldn’t put further stress on his mother. But right now, he can’t even find it in himself to lie. Not to Harry.

Since Harry is no stranger to the way that Ashton deals with things, he senses that this is a very serious matter. Without another word, he sits on the edge of the couch and takes Ashton’s hand in his, and when Ashton finally looks at him, he finds the most concerned look on Harry’s face. No surprise there, Harry is the most caring person in the universe, probably.

“It’s going to be alright, Ashton. I’m here now. Would you like to talk about it?” he asks, instead of demanding to know what’s wrong.

Ashton likes that.

But, where does he even begin? Should he admit his feelings for Luke first? Or, should he mention that Luke probably hates him now? Maybe he should talk about how confused he is about his sexuality, because never before he has felt this way about anyone other than girls. Perhaps, then, he should admit that he’s terrified. He’s _not_ straight, he has feelings for another boy and all of this is too much to handle.

Ashton sits up and brings his knees to his chest. He doesn’t let go of Harry’s hand, though.

“I don’t know what to do,” he murmurs.

“About?”

“Luke…”

“What about Luke?”

“I…” Ashton inhales, taking a deep breath until his lungs give away. “I like him, Harry.”

“Well, what’s wrong with that? We all like Luke—”

“No,” Ashton cuts him off. “I’m, like… I’m _gay_ for him, goddammit. I fancy him. I like him as more than a friend. I have real _feelings_ for him. I get weird tingles whenever he touches me, and I think about kissing him a lot. We almost did that, y’know. On the night of the premiere? We almost kissed, but I got scared and stopped at the last second. It’s a lot worse now, though… I can’t stop thinking about him, even though I’ve tried. Can’t stop thinking about that picture, either…”

Harry tilts his head to the side. “What picture?”

“It’s nothing. Never mind.”

Neither of them say anything for a while. Harry is probably thinking of an appropriate response, while Ashton tries not to think at all. He’s been thinking nonstop for the past five days alone, and he just wants to… be. He wants to exist in silence, without being plagued by his own thoughts.

“Hey.” Harry’s thumb gently strokes the back of Ashton’s hand until he looks up. When their eyes meet, Harry gives him the warmest smile. “Like I said before: it’s going to be alright, Ashton. You’re not alone, no, far from it. I’m here for you, understand?”

Ashton lets out the smallest whimper. “But, _Harry_. I’m so… I’m so _lost_ , I don’t get what’s going on with me anymore. Like, you don’t understand because you figured yourself out a long time ago, but it’s different for me. It’s different when you think that you’ve got everything figured out, only to realize that you know nothing. I’ve never… felt this way about a boy before. But, then Luke comes along and…”

“Hey, hey. That’s alright. I get it,” Harry attempts to reassure him. “It’s alright that you’re confused. After all, we live in a very heteronormative society, aye? Not every queer person reacts the same way, once they discover themselves. As far as your feelings for Luke are concerned, that isn’t abnormal, either. Sexuality is fluid. It changes. Just like people can.”

“So… so is that why I’ve turned gay?”

It’s highly unexpected when Harry laughs. “Sorry, sorry. This is a serious matter. Um, but no. I doubt you’ve ‘turned gay’, Ashton.”

“But, I like Luke…”

“Do you still fancy girls?”

“Um, yes?”

“Well, there’s your answer. You’re not gay.” Harry grins. “You’re bisexual, most likely.”

“Oh.” Ashton blinks a few times. “Luke is the only boy that I think about, though.”

“Doesn’t matter. Your sexuality is determined by you, not the people that you date or like.”

“But—”

“Ashton.” Harry grabs him by the shoulders and stares right into his eyes. “Say it with me now: _bisexuality_.”

“Bisexuality…”

“Good! You’re slowly getting there now.” Harry pats his shoulders before letting go.

Ashton clears his throat. “Okay, so, now that I’ve turned bisexual—”

“You should probably stop using the word ‘turned’, by the way. You’re human, not a vampire.”

“Fine.” He tries again. “Now that I’ve… _discovered_ that I’m most likely bisexual, what do I do?”

Harry responds with an easy shrug. “What do you want to do?”

“I… I don’t…” Ashton sighs. “I don’t know yet.”

“That’s alright.” Harry gives him another warm smile. “We’ll figure it out. Together.”

The silence returns to them for a while. It still isn’t a comfortable silence, but it’s not nearly as intense as the previous one. Still, Ashton wishes that all of this would end soon. He’s so tired and emotionally drained, he may consider going to bed early. It’s not even dinnertime, but who cares. He’s beat.

“I’m scared, Harry,” he whispers.

“Scared of what?”

Ashton has to actually pause and think about it. What exactly is he afraid of? Having to eventually come out to his family? Maybe. But, then he thinks about his aunt, Carrie. She’s a lesbian and he’s pretty sure that no one in his family hates her. Although it’s been a long time since he’s seen her, because she travels a lot and never likes to stay put, Ashton can recall all of the times that she has visited. He recalls his own mother being nothing but kind to Aunt Carrie, as well as Carrie’s girlfriend. Ashton may have been raised in a Christian household, but he’s pretty certain that his mother isn’t a downright bigot. He’s certain that Anne would still love him, and so would Lauren and little Harry. They’re still too young to hold any deep rooted prejudices.

So, maybe Ashton isn’t afraid of telling his family, if he eventually decides to. He isn’t afraid to tell his friends, either. Obviously because most of them are queer as well, but also because he trusts them. Any strangers who have a problem with him can go fuck themselves. Who is he afraid of, then? The answer comes to him before he even finishes that thought.

“Myself, I suppose. I’m scared that I might be wrong about this, and it turns out that I’ve ruined things for nothing? What if Luke forgives me and everything turns out fine, but then I realize that being with him isn’t what I want, and I end up hurting him even more? I really don’t want to hurt Luke. Not again.”

Harry nods as Ashton explains himself, and when he’s finished, the only response that he gets is this:

“You know what? I think it’s time that we had a guys’ night.”

***

Later that night, Harry’s plan commences.

They invite over a couple of mutual friends, order a bunch of pizzas, and wash it down with cheap beer. It turns out being a lot of fun for all of them, because it’s not just a typical get-together. For instance, while Calum, Michael, and Niall yell at each other over a silly game of FIFA on the Xbox, Ashton, Harry, Louis and Zayn occupy themselves with just talking, painting each other’s nails and doing hair. That’s the current situation, anyway. After pigging out on pizza and beer, everyone sits around and relaxes.

In this setting, discussing sexuality and dating is a lot less frightening, Ashton soon realizes. When they start to talk about Luke and Ashton’s feelings for him, Ashton no longer feels like his throat is closing up. He gradually starts feeling less lost and a lot surer of himself, especially now that he knows he isn’t alone. Before tonight, he thought that he was strange for having a ‘sexuality crisis’ at twenty-one years old. He knows that Harry has been attracted to other genders for as long as he can remember; Calum used to experiment with a boy on his football team, back in secondary school; and Louis didn’t identify as gay until he was eighteen, but that’s still earlier than Ashton.

However, he realizes that none of that matters now. For the past few hours, his friends have been teaching him so many things, educating him on subjects that he thought he already knew everything about, and reassuring him that his experience is valid. His feelings are valid. _He_ is valid. Several times, Ashton nearly starts to cry.

“Wow,” he mutters in awe. “I never knew that there were so many different identities? I mean, I’ve always known that some people are straight, some are gay, and I’ve heard very little about bisexuality, but… just, wow. There are so many, and they all sound fantastic.”

“That’s because they _are_ fantastic,” Harry says, and that last word ends with a sigh of pleasure as Louis continues to brush his long, curly hair.

At the moment, Ashton is sitting on the floor in front of the sofa, right next to Harry. Louis and Zayn are sitting on the sofa together, while Louis continuously styles Harry’s curls into something different, before undoing it and brushing it to start all over again. Ashton is currently waiting for his toenails to completely dry; earlier in the night, Harry painted them a pretty pastel green color to match his eyes. Even though it isn’t completely accurate, Ashton loves the color. He almost wants to ask Harry to paint his finger nails a nice shade of baby blue for him, to resemble the color of Luke’s eyes. Ashton doesn’t ask, though; he’s a university student, not a primary schoolboy with a crush.

“Like Hazza explained a few minutes ago, there are lots of sexualities,” Louis says. “And these sexualities are important to a lot of people. For instance, they give us a sense of belonging. They give us an identity and make us feel… whole? At least, that’s how I feel about mine, but it’s different for everyone. In fact, everyone in this room has a different identity!”

Louis points to himself. “Gay.” He points to Harry next. “Pansexual.” Then, to Zayn. “Aromantic.”

Ashton frowns at the unfamiliar word. “What?”

“Zayn, explain,” Louis says. He then giggles when he realized that he accidentally rhymed.

Ashton tilts his head back to look up at Zayn. He’s a little more on the reserved side and hasn’t spoken too much tonight. Aside from an art history course that they took together one semester, Ashton hasn’t spent too much time with the guy. He knows that Zayn isn’t shy, though. He’s seen Zayn and Louis get up to lots of things together, he’s seen the way that they are around each other. They can be pretty wild, to be honest. So, Zayn is anything but shy. Tonight, he just seems a little tired.

Zayn removes the cigarette from his lips and exhales the smoke in the opposite direction, so that it won’t be in Ashton’s face.

“I’m aromantic,” he begins to explain. “Means I don’t experience romantic attraction to people. No, I’m not broken. No, I don’t give a shit about what anyone else has to say. It’s all just white noise to me, you know?”

Ashton doesn’t know, but he feels like he should nod in agreement. So he nods.

“Oh, but I’m polysexual, too,” Zayn adds.

“Thank you, Zayn.” Louis clears his throat and moves on. With the brush in his hand, he points across the room to Niall, Michael, and Calum respectively, listing off their sexualities as he goes. “Heterosexual, bisexual, and doesn’t like to use labels.”

Lastly, Louis points to Ashton. He doesn’t say anything, simply raises his eyebrows and waits.

“Bisexual,” Ashton says when prompted. It fills him with euphoria and a sense of... belonging? “Wow, that felt… really good.”

Harry nudges him in the side. “Then say it again.”

“I’m bisexual,” Ashton announces.

“Louder and prouder!” Louis demands.

Ashton raises his arms and shouts: “I’m bisexual!”

Everyone in the room begins to cheer, even the three knuckleheads who are still sitting in front of the television and bickering about a video game. In this moment, Ashton is far too happy to chastise them about how sitting that close is bad for their eyesight. Right now, he only cares about the immense relief that’s filling his veins. He focuses on the feeling of a great weight being lifted from his shoulders. He knows that there are still plenty of things that he needs to learn and figure out along the way, but now he’s on the road to acceptance. He’s on the road to accepting himself as he is now, and that’s what’s most important.

Harry smiles at him. “Welcome to the community, brother.”

In all honestly, those choice of words make it sound as if Ashton has just joined some sort of dark brotherhood. If he has, then he’s okay with that. Tonight is the first night that he’s okay with a lot of things, so he smiles back at Harry and whispers a heartfelt ‘thank you’.

Louis _tsks_ in annoyance. “Say, where the hell is Liam? He was supposed to be here hours ago, and now he’s missing out on our feelings orgy.”

“He’s out with Sophia tonight, remember?” Zayn says, blowing the smoke through his nostrils. “It’s their anniversary.”

“Yes, okay, I understand that. But… it’s _Guys’ night_. Couldn’t they move their plans to tomorrow?”

Harry snorts. “You can’t just cancel an anniversary, Louis. It doesn’t work that way.”

Louis shrugs. “Well, I don’t see why not.”

“You’re doing that wrong,” Zayn tells him, pointing to whatever the hell he’s doing to Harry’s head now. It looks like some sort of tornado, which makes Ashton laugh. Zayn, however, lets out a frustrated sigh. “Here, let me have a go.”

He snubs the cigarette out in the ashtray placed on the arm of the sofa, then pushes Louis out of the way. Although Louis whines about it, he scoots over so that Zayn can take his spot directly behind Harry. Like some sort of expert, Zayn begins to brush Harry’s hair into something a lot neater.

“I hope you like space buns,” he says.

Harry gasps. “I love space buns!”

While watching Zayn work his magic, Ashton doesn’t notice Niall sliding next to him until the blond bumps his shoulder in greeting. They smile at each other, like two old friends meeting again for the first time. As a matter of fact, Ashton has known Niall since his very first year in this place. They became fast friends, but it’s been a while since the last time that they hung out. Ashton is thrilled to have him here now.

“Did you lose the FIFA match?” Ashton teases.

Niall chuckles. “Nah, I came over because my opponent is a bit busy at the moment.”

He tilts his chin in the direction of the television, and Ashton looks over to see Calum lying on his back with Michael on top of him. They’re kissing and giggling as they tickle each other, like the cutest fucking couple on their honeymoon or something. Ashton sticks out his tongue and pretends to be grossed out, but he knows that he’s just low-key jealous.

“Hey, I just realized something.”

Everyone—except the couple making out in front of the television—turns their attention to Harry. However, Harry is only looking at Niall.

He smirks and says, “This makes Niall the only straight guy in the room.”

The others snicker at this, but Niall only shrugs.

“You don’t know that for sure,” he says with a smirk of his own. “I could’ve sucked fifty dicks, maybe in a single day, and none of you would even know it!”

Louis scoffs, “Oh, for god’s sake, Niall. You said it yourself, you have the worst gag reflex ever! There’s no way that anyone would risk it.”

“You’ve got a point there.” Niall glances around at everyone in the room, wiggling his brows suggestively. “Anyone wanna volunteer?”

He gets a chorus of no’s, a few groans, and the loudest laugh from Harry.

Zayn snorts and shakes his head. “No one’s gonna risk you vomiting on their dick, Niall.”

Although it’s all in jest, Ashton frowns regardless. “Gross. Can we _please_ not talk about vomiting on dicks? At all?”

“Alright, let’s change the subject.” Harry claps his hands together once, and now that he has two perfect space buns on top of his head, all thanks to Zayn, he moves towards the little basket of nail polish still sitting on the floor. “Who wants a pedicure next?”

“I do! I do!” Michael shouts out of nowhere. Since he’s no longer sucking on Calum’s face, he quickly crawls over to where Harry is crouching and begins sifting through the basket. “Hmm… Which color should I choose?”

“I think… this one.” Harry picks up a bright red color and twirls it in his hand. “It matches the color of your hair, see?”

Michael smiles as bright as the sun itself. “Perfect choice!”

As he watches all of his friends paint each other’s nails, Ashton can’t help thinking that this is where he belongs. He doesn’t try to ignore the small twinge in his heart, though. He knows that someone very important is missing from the equation, and even though it’s scary, he also knows that he has to fix this mess.

He’s _going to_ fix this mess, and he’s going to do it soon.

***

That night, Ashton finds it difficult to fall asleep.

The gears in his head keep churning and churning like clockwork, keeping him wide awake and forcing him to deal with his own thoughts. Thanks to the help of his loving friends, he no longer feels like the world is crashing down on him. He no longer feels lost and confused. So, this is a good thing, right?

Unfortunately, he still doesn’t feel satisfied with himself. His mind continues to torture him with thoughts of _Luke_ , and how terribly Ashton has been treating him recently. It takes a lot of willpower to keep from punching himself for this. There’s no use in dwelling on past actions, though. Ashton told himself that he’s going to fix things for good, and he keeps on telling himself this.

Would it be right to take action this soon? Ashton isn’t quite sure. It’s only been a handful of hours since coming to terms with his sexuality, shouldn’t he wait until he has everything figured out before approaching Luke about his feelings? It sounds wise, but at the same time, Ashton doesn’t want to wait. He knows what he has to do, and he knows that it must be done before it’s too late to do anything at all.

This thought is what drives him to roll over and grab his phone from his desk. Since Calum invited Michael to spend the night, the two of them gathered a heap of blankets and pillows and fell asleep in the living room while watching a movie. So, Ashton isn’t worried about disturbing his flat mate, now that he has the room to himself.

As he stares at the call button, Ashton realizes that he isn’t _that_ brave. It’s probably best to start with something smaller, so he sends a text.

> **(12:52 AM) Ashton:**
> 
> Hey Luke, it’s been a while  
>  Well actually it’s been a few days but it seems like a while  
>  How are you doing??????  
>  I don’t even know if you’re awake right now  
>  ………  
>  Probably not
> 
> **(12:57 AM) Luke:**
> 
> hi

Just like before, Ashton almost drops the phone on his face. Luke has just replied with a two letter word, and yet Ashton’s heart is thumping wildly in his chest as he stares at the message for countless seconds.

 _Luke replied_. He replied to Ashton, which has to mean something. Ashton scrambles to think of something to say in return.

> **(12:58 AM) Ashton:**
> 
> Hey! I didn’t think that you would reply  
>  But I’m really glad that you did  
>  And…  
>  I really miss talking to you
> 
> **(1:00 AM) Luke:**
> 
> really? that’s weird  
>  I mean you’re the one who’s been avoiding me  
>  without any explanation whatsoever  
>  but w/e lol  
>  what did you want?

Those words sting a whole lot more than Ashton could have ever imagined. There’s a stinging sensation behind his eyes, too; but not because of Luke’s response or his own hurt feelings. No, he’s upset because only now does he realize just how much he’s hurt Luke. Only now does he realize the effects that his actions have had on the one person that he claimed to never want to hurt. But he _has_ hurt Luke, and that’s something that he can’t take back.

This doesn’t mean that he’ll give up on trying to fix things, though. If anything, he’ll just have to try harder. And since he didn’t come up with a plan before sending that first text, he replies with the first thing that comes to mind, hoping that Luke will continue talking to him.

> **(1:02 AM) Ashton:**
> 
> I’ve been thinking about some things lately  
>  A lot of things, actually  
>  And there’s something that I’d like to ask you
> 
> **(1:02 AM) Luke:**
> 
> go on
> 
> **(1:03 AM) Ashton:**
> 
> Do you think that Arthur & Merlin were in love with each other?
> 
> **(1:03 AM) Luke:**
> 
> …  
>  what?
> 
> **(1:04 AM) Ashton:**
> 
> It’s just that I’ve finished the book recently  
>  And you were right btw, it’s an amazing story  
>  But after thinking about it for a while  
>  I got the feeling that they were in love  
>  And if you think about it they kinda were?  
>  Merlin did so much for Arthur and vice versa  
>  They were basically star crossed lovers  
>  Didn’t you get that vibe?????
> 
> **(1:06 AM) Luke:**
> 
> wow um idk??  
>  I mean I guess it makes sense  
>  never thought about it like that though
> 
> **(1:06 AM) Ashton:**
> 
> Oh but you should!  
>  It makes everything a lot more interesting  
>  Imagine: King Arthur & the powerful wizard Merlin  
>  Best friend, allies, but most of all, secret lovers
> 
> **(1:07 AM) Luke:**
> 
> haha I guess it is more interesting that way  
>  would’ve made it even more tragic too  
>  being gay lovers during medieval times and all
> 
> **(1:08 AM) Ashton:**
> 
> They’d never let that stop them  
>  They’d shout a big ‘fuck you!’ to all who challenged them  
>  And probably kiss each other before battle, for good luck  
>  Now that’s a story that I’d wanna read
> 
> **(1:10 AM) Luke:**
> 
> hahahah I would probably read that too  
>  but Ashton, tell me the truth  
>  did you really text me just to talk about slash shipping?

Uh oh. Looks like the time for stalling has come to an end. Ashton takes a deep breath and reminds himself to be nothing but honest. As long as he’s honest, things just might go in his favor. Hopefully.

> **(1:12 AM) Ashton:**
> 
> No, that isn’t the only reason  
>  There’s actually smth that I need to tell you?  
>  Preferably in person  
>  If you’re willing to give me a chance to explain myself

The wait is almost torturous. He stares at the bright little screen unblinkingly, his heart in his chest and the world around him at a standstill. Lord knows what he’ll do if Luke says no to him. His chest aches just thinking about it, so he tries to halt all thought while he waits for the typing bubble to appear.

At last, it does.

> **(1:14 AM) Luke:**
> 
> where do you want to meet?

***

Ashton sneaks out of the flat about fifteen minutes later. Well, technically it isn’t sneaking out, since his flat mates aren’t his parents and they have no authority over what he does; but, all of them have gotten into the habit of telling each other when they leave or go out, just to be extra safe. Therefore, it’s _almost_ like sneaking out, and Ashton feels a little naughty.

They arrange to meet up at the pub down the street from where he lives. The gay pub. The one where Luke had cried on his shoulder and told him that he was the nicest person there is. The memory tugs at Ashton’s heart, because it’s false. He isn’t all that nice, and now Luke knows it, too.

While Ashton waits for Luke to arrive—he lives a bit further away—he sits at the bar and orders a few shots for himself. As he downs another, he tells himself to lay off the alcohol, at least until Luke arrives. They’re meant to drink _together_ and talk about important things, which Ashton won’t be able to do if he’s drunk. He requires the buzz, though. With this bit of alcohol in his system, he’ll feel more confident. Bold. _Brave_. He’s absolutely sure of it.

“Hey.”

It takes him by complete surprise, the familiar voice that greets him just a minute later. He turns his head so quickly that it nearly gives him whiplash, and his heart jumps in his chest as Luke slides into the bar stool next to him. In fact, it only gets worse as Ashton takes in his appearance.

Luke doesn’t look like someone who has been invited to a pub at nearly two in the morning. He looks like someone who is ready for a photoshoot, with his neatly combed hair, trimmed beard, and leather jacket. Somehow, the jacket makes his white band shirt and black skinnies look so much fancier than they are. In contrast, Ashton is only in jeans and a black and white striped shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His long hair is still slightly damp from the shower that he took a couple of hours ago, and he feels very under dressed.

This probably isn’t going to go very well.

“So,” Luke speaks first, since Ashton appears to be in a daze. “What did you want to tell me?”

“Right. Um.”

Ashton struggles for a few seconds, searching his mind for the right thing to say. He thought that he had it all figured out, but now that Luke is in his presence and looking like some sort of sexy model, Ashton can hardly keep himself from drooling. Therefore, dishing out a coherent apology will be even harder.

He somehow manages to do it, though.

“Luke, I am really, _really_ sorry,” he starts off. He tries to maintain eye contact, but it makes things so much more difficult, so he settles on staring at Luke’s calm hands instead. “I have been… just the biggest arsehole to you, the biggest wanker in the history of wankers, the meanest cunt of them all. Really, I have! You deserved none of it, and I’m sorry.”

Ashton spares a glance at Luke’s face, finding that the cautious expression that had been there when he’d arrived has disappeared. It must mean that he’s no longer questioning if he should be here or not, and that’s good. However, now he's as confused as ever.

“Okay,” he says, nodding his head. It doesn’t sound like forgiveness, but it’s a start. “I don’t understand, though… Why? Why did you do it? I was starting to think that you hated me, for some reason that I’m unaware of. I really want to know what I did wrong.”

Ashton readily shakes his head. “See, that’s the thing. You did nothing wrong at all. Honestly! It’s just that I’ve been… I _was_ having some inner conflicts with myself, but that’s no excuse for taking it out on you. Again, I’m very sorry for making you sad.”

Luke doesn’t say anything this time. He nods along to Ashton’s words, but when it’s over, he remains silent. The worst part is that Ashton can’t tell what he’s thinking, not at all, and it makes him nervous. When Ashton is nervous enough, he begins to ramble. This time is no different.

“I’ll be honest with you, Luke. Ever since the night that I met you, things have changed. And, okay, so that sounds really dramatic and it actually isn’t all that dramatic when I think about it, but when I noticed these changes, I got really scared? Hell, I thought that something was wrong with me, because I didn’t understand what I was feeling and why. I understand it now, though. Mostly. Thanks to Harry and the guys, I’m no longer scared of these feelings that I have. Not anymore.”

“Feelings?” Luke inquires, fixing his gaze on him.

Ashton holds his tongue. He has just finished explaining his reasoning for distancing himself from Luke, which is exactly what his goal was. To explain himself and reconcile their friendship. Nothing more. When did he decide to keep his true feelings to himself? Who knows, but he’s deciding it now. He’s not sure if he’s ready to confess this, but even more than that, he knows that Luke deserves someone better.

“Um… Y’know.” He pauses. “How do I say this… uh, being around you began to make me feel… things? Just, things. Things I’ve never considered before, and since I was so scared, I figured that avoiding you for a while would make the feelings go away… But, um, everything is sorted out now. Somewhat.”

Despite attempting to brush it off by being vague, Luke doesn’t fall for it. Ashton knows that he’s been caught, once Luke’s eyes widen and it looks as if he’s blushing ever so slightly.

“Are you trying to say that…”

“No.”

“…You have feelings for me?”

Ashton unconvincingly shakes his head. “You’re mistaken, I said that you made me feel _things_. Intense things. Y’know, like—”

“Like a crush?” Luke finishes for him.

“No, not like a crush. More like a—”

“Big crush.”

“Bloody hell!” Ashton cries in frustration.

Because he’s a _jerk_ , Luke begins to laugh. Sure, it’s better than him being angry at Ashton and not forgiving him at all, but at this rate, Ashton is sure that his entire body must react. His ears are burning even more than his cheeks, and he can’t even bring himself to look at Luke without wanting to melt into a puddle. _Why_ did he have to open his big mouth?

“Aw, you have a crush on me,” Luke coos, teasing him further. “That’s… That’s amazing. Why didn’t you just say so?”

Ashton shrugs, but he keeps his gaze on his hands pressed flat against the bar.

“Well, when you’ve identified as hetero for the past twenty-one years, it isn’t exactly easy to accept that you feel things for someone else.”

A gentle hand comes to rest at the small of Ashton’s back, and even that little bit of contact brings back the familiar tingles.

“It’s alright, I understand,” Luke says, speaking in such a soft tone that Ashton melts into his touch. “Wanna know something? I didn’t fully admit to myself that I was gay until I was sixteen. Didn’t have my first relationship with a boy until I was almost eighteen. Now, I’m nineteen, but sometimes it still doesn’t feel like I know what I’m doing? Basically, it takes time. You’ll get there, though. I know you will.”

By some miracle, those words actually do make Ashton feel a little more confident.

“Does your family know that you’re gay?”

“They do,” he answers without missing a beat. “I know that I’m one of the lucky ones. They didn’t see it as a big deal, and if anything, coming out to them just brought us impossibly closer. Things have been great, ever since then.”

Ashton slowly nods.

“I’m, uh.” He chuckles. “I’m bisexual. Came to terms with it earlier today. Well, yesterday, technically. I don’t know when or if I’ll tell my family, but… I guess I don’t really want to? Like, I figure that if someday I bring a guy home, then they’ll know. Until then, I don’t see the point in mentioning it. Do you think it’s right for me to do that?”

“It’s perfectly right. Your sexuality, your business. You don’t have to do anything that you don’t want to do.”

For the second time, it feels like another weight has been lifted from Ashton’s shoulders. Knowing that he doesn’t have to tell everyone immediately makes him feel relieved. All of this is very new to him, he wants to have more time to figure everything out before announcing it to the world. It’s not as if he doesn’t trust his family to accept him, but this is his thing now. He’s going to deal with it in the way that _he_ wants to.

“Except,” Luke continues, and his tone has noticeably shifted to a playful one. “You _do_ have to admit that you like me. Sorry, it’s the rules.”

Ashton gawks at him. “Whose rules?”

Luke smirks. “My rules.”

Just because he feels like being difficult _and_ because Luke has been teasing him relentlessly, Ashton huffs and crosses his arms over his chest, turning the other way to pretend that Luke isn’t there.

“No. I refuse.”

“Ashton,” Luke whines, but he giggles afterwards. “C’mon, just say it! It’s not that hard. Just say that you like me.”

“But I don’t like you.”

“Liar.”

“I don’t,” Ashton stubbornly insists. “And I don’t think that you’re fit, either. Especially in that leather jacket. I also don’t think that you have really nice eyes and the cutest nose in the history of noses. So, no, I don’t like you. End of story.”

“Fine, I believe you.”

That response is certainly unexpected, since Luke can be just as stubborn as Ashton can, if not more. But before Ashton can admit that he really is just joking, Luke reaches out and uses his finger to lift Ashton’s chin. Ashton doesn’t even try to resist, and when their eyes meet, he doesn’t even try to breathe.

“I believe you,” Luke repeats, “ _If_ you can look me in the eyes and say that you don’t like me.”

See, the problem with that is that Ashton… can’t. In fact, he can’t really do anything while gazing into the soft eyes before him. Like the ocean, he feels as if he could drown in those eyes. He thinks that he _wants_ to drown in them, actually. They’re bright and beautiful and soft and _fierce_ , in a strange way that isn’t intimidating. No, not intimidating at all, but they are honest. They’re honest eyes that belong to an amazing person. A really amazing person.

Damn it.

Damn it all to hell.

Ashton is the first to look away. He only does this so that he can see where his long abandoned shot glass is, and then he reaches for it, lifting the glass to his lips and throwing his head back as the alcohol slithers down his throat. He welcomes the burning sensation and prays that it’ll give him the last bit of confidence that he needs.

Wordlessly, Ashton hops down from the bar stool.

Luke looks utterly confused. “Wait. What are you—?”

“We’re dancing.” Ashton takes one of Luke’s hands and pulls him from his seat. Grinning, he adds, “Now.”

Luke doesn’t complain when Ashton drags him onto the dance floor. He doesn’t complain when Ashton presses up against him and they begin moving to the beat of the music. Unlike at the nightclubs, pubs aren’t nearly as crowded. There’s just enough room for them to move around comfortably, but they stay close together anyway. Also unlike the nightclub, Ashton leads Luke this time. And when he turns around and begins grinding back against Luke’s crotch, Luke still doesn’t complain. In fact, he encourages it, with his fingers digging into Ashton’s hips and his mouth pressed to the back of Ashton’s sweaty neck.

Luke definitely doesn’t complain when, during the transition from one song to the next, Ashton suddenly leans up and kisses him. He kisses Luke so fiercely that the younger boy nearly loses his balance, but he’s quick to recover and react accordingly. In other words, he kisses Ashton back with just as much passion, just as much desperation and desire. It’s hot, it’s messy, and it’s everything that the two of them could’ve asked for.

About two minutes later, they stumble into the men’s restroom, kissing and licking into each other’s mouths, tugging at each other’s clothes. It’s a rather small bathroom with only three stalls within and a few urinals, and from where they are, they can easily see that no one else is in here with them. So, Ashton locks the door before allowing Luke to lead him over to the sinks.

Ashton’s lower back roughly hitting the sink elicits a sharp gasp, and Luke immediately pulls away.

“Shit, sorry. I’m really sorry,” he says, speaking too fast and breathing hard. “Are you alright?”

Despite the dull pain in his lower back, Ashton can’t help laughing at the hilariousness of it all. They’re most likely about to get each other off in the bathroom of a gay pub, and of course the first thing that happens involves him getting wounded. Even if it’s not actually a wound.

“I’m alright,” Ashton answers after a brief delay. But he has to admit that Luke’s hand rubbing his back feels _amazing_.

“Still. I feel bad now.”

Of course. Leave it up to Luke to feel legitimately guilty about a small accident like this. But that’s one of the reasons that Ashton fell for him.

“Well, you can always make it up to me,” Ashton says, sliding his arms up and up until they’re around Luke’s neck. “I require more kisses. Asap.”

Luke’s mouth curves into a tiny smile before he nods and leans back in, firmly pressing his lips against Ashton’s. One of his hands is still rubbing Ashton’s lower back, while the other has a tight grip on his hipbone, holding him into place. Ashton quickly notices that kissing Luke is a bit different from all of the girls that he’s kissed in the past. For one thing, Luke isn’t wearing shimmery lip gloss. Another thing is that he has a lip ring. It’s the first time that Ashton has ever kissed someone with a lip ring. Also, Luke is a few inches taller, so Ashton has to tilt his head up to make it work. Never before has he had to do this for anyone.

Therefore, it’s different from what he’s used to, but it’s far from inferior. In fact, it’s _perfect_. Ashton never imagined kissing a boy before Luke came along, but even if he did, he probably wouldn’t have imagined it like this. He probably wouldn’t have imagined that boys can have soft lips, too. Luke’s lips are definitely soft, and Ashton doesn’t want to stop kissing them, not even for a second.

Even more than kissing Luke, Ashton desires to be closer to him. That’s why he unhooks his arms from around Luke’s neck and drags his hands down Luke’s body instead, remembering that Luke is still wearing the god forsaken leather jacket. Ashton tugs at it until Luke understands. He releases Ashton and leans back, already tugging at the sleeves to get his arms out of it. A very impatient Ashton lends him a hand, and once the jacket is out of the way, Luke tosses it onto the counter next to the sink. He tries to go back to kissing Ashton, but the other is too busy pulling at his shirt now, trying to lift it over his head.

“We can’t,” Luke tells him, laughing softly as he takes Ashton’s hands and pulls them away from his shirt.

Ashton shamelessly whines. “Why not? I wanna be able to touch you.”

“Because.” Luke’s eyes circle the room before landing back on Ashton. “We’re still in a bathroom, we have to be quick about this before someone tries to get in.”

Just because he can, Ashton starts to whine again. That is, until Luke leans back in to kiss Ashton once more. However, instead of going for his lips like before, Luke kisses the side of Ashton’s mouth and begins to leave a trail of kisses across his jawline. Ashton lets out a deep a sigh, and when Luke reaches his ear, he whispers:

“I’ll still get you off, though. I promise.”

Ashton starts to question just how Luke plans to do that, but then there’s a hand cupping his groin through his jeans, and he gasps.

Meanwhile, Luke hums with delight. “Always knew that you were big. Still, I’m impressed.”                       

It certainly isn’t the first time that someone has commented on the size of Ashton’s cock, but it is the first time that he giggles in response. He doesn’t know why it’s funny, it just is, so he laughs and tilts his head back to look into Luke’s eyes.

“You’re welcome to play with it. Preferably as soon as possible.”

Luke holds his gaze for a few seconds, but then he snorts and shakes his head.

“Okay, okay. I’ll get on with it.”

He presses a quick kiss to Ashton’s lips before sinking down onto his knees. And, _goodness_ , the sight of Luke on his knees like this is almost too much to handle. Ashton reaches back and grips the counter behind him, feeling that if he doesn’t, his legs just might give away.

And just like that, it’s back to business. Everything feels like it’s happening far too fast; Luke unbuttoning Ashton’s jeans and pulling the zipper down hardly a second later, his fingers curling into the waistband as he tugs both the jeans and underwear down to Ashton’s knees, his bright blue eyes glancing up at Ashton through his eyelashes. All of it, everything, feels like it happens at once, and all of it is amazing.

“Fuck, it’s even bigger than I thought,” Luke tells him. This time Ashton doesn’t laugh, doesn’t get much of a chance to do _anything_ , as Luke’s warm hand wraps around him. “Pretty, too. You’re _so_ pretty, Ashton.”

With that, Luke gives an experiment tug of his cock, quick and rough and it’s enough to blow all of the air from Ashton’s lungs. It’s enough to make him curse under his breath, and as Luke’s hand starts working him at an easy pace, Ashton almost starts to close his eyes. He wants to see this, though. He wants to see everything, so he tries desperately to keep them open.

“God, can’t wait to taste you,” Luke mutters. And as soon as he says that, his thumb swipes over the head, earning a sharp gasp from Ashton. If that isn’t enough to drive him crazy, Luke immediately repeats the action, then leans forward and does it with the tip of his tongue instead. When Ashton moans as a result, Luke glances up at him and grins. “You like that, huh?”

“ _Luke_ ,” Ashton whines, and his hips jut forward involuntarily, chasing the heavenly warmth of that tongue. Like the absolute tease that he is, Luke tilts his head to the side. “Blood fucking hell, _please_. Do something. I-I need your mouth.”

Instead of giving him precisely that, Luke chuckles and refocuses on the task at hand, now taking a bit of time to fondle Ashton’s balls.

Let’s get one thing straight: Ashton doesn’t beg. Not ever. He’s used to making _others_ beg, and he’s used to being the one that leads everything. Well, except for the night that he lost his virginity, since his girlfriend at the time was more experienced than him. But that’s beside the point. The real point is that Ashton isn’t used to this, isn’t used to being teased at the mercy of someone else. Especially not another boy. _Especially_ not at the hands of someone like Luke Hemmings, who Ashton assumed would be more of the shy type during sex, since he’s naturally shy when it comes to other things.

Right now, Luke is anything but shy. His hand moves gracefully down Ashton’s shaft, pumping him fast and rough before slowing down to a torturous pace, one that has Ashton wanting to rip his own hair out. Evidently, Luke becomes an evil little devil when there’s a cock involved.

Ashton grits his teeth, feeling his impending orgasm building up in the pit of his belly.

“Luke, goddammit,” he curses as a warning.

Thankfully, Luke seems to get it. He stops being a tease and begins to take Ashton into his mouth, his eyes never leaving Ashton’s face as he goes. It’s mind-blowingly _beautiful_ , how he takes Ashton in all at once. He doesn’t stop until he reaches the base, and Ashton exhales the deepest sigh, feeling the way that his cock fills Luke’s mouth so nicely.

He isn’t given a chance to revel in it for long. Like an expert, Luke pulls back half way and begins bobbing his head, not bothering at all with going slow. They’re still in a public bathroom and they can still get caught, so he finally begins to use his time wisely.

Ashton watches the whole thing with half-lidded eyes, a fuzzy head, and a heart full of desire. Luke’s soft, pink lips look beyond amazing, sliding over his slick cock with ease as he sucks him off. It takes Ashton’s breath away, but it doesn’t render him immobile. Without even really thinking about it, he reaches out and grabs hold of the hair at the back of Luke’s head, twisting his fingers in it and almost crying out when Luke moans around his cock. Clearly, he likes the hair pulling quite a lot.

As Ashton gets closer and closer coming, he’s unable to contain any and all sound that comes from his lips. He’s never really been too loud during sex, but hey, Luke is damn good at sucking cock. So, it can’t be helped.

However, Luke pulls off a moment later, breathing harshly and letting his hand take over for a bit. The best thing is that he looks completely wrecked, his lips all swollen and wet with spit, his innocent blue eyes glossed over and his hair a total mess. He’s so beautiful like this, although to be fair, he’s always beautiful. Ashton feels like a fool for trying to resist someone as beautiful as Luke, just because he’d been afraid.

“Close?” Luke asks—or, Ashton _thinks_ that he does, but he’s almost too far gone to hear anything other than his beating heart and the muffled music coming from the other side of the door.

All that Ashton can do right now is nod, and then he’s being overwhelmed again as Luke teasingly licks the head, his sinful tongue lapping up the pre-come from Ashton’s leaking slit.

“I need you to fuck my mouth,” Luke says, and now _he’s_ the one who sounds like he’s pleading. Ashton can see it in his eyes as well. “Do it, I can take it. Fuck my mouth and come down my throat.”

The mental image that those words give Ashton is almost enough to make him come right then and there. For the sake of it becoming a reality, he restrains himself and watches as Luke goes down on him once more. Instead of bobbing his head like before, Luke waits obediently for Ashton to begin moving.

Not wanting to keep him waiting, Ashton tightly grips the back of Luke’s head again and starts to thrust his hips. He does it timidly at first, not wanting to accidentally choke Luke or cause him discomfort, but then Luke’s hands come up and grip the back of his thighs, fingernails digging into the skin and urging him to go faster, _deeper_. So that’s what Ashton does. He fucks Luke’s mouth without holding back, the sight of his cock sliding in and out bringing him closer than the actual feeling—which is saying a lot, since Luke’s mouth feels so warm and wet and _heavenly_.

But it’s the sight of it all that has Ashton spilling over the edge and coming down the back of Luke’s throat. He groans from the immense pleasure and tries hard to keep himself steady, despite his knees threatening to buckle beneath him. And he thinks that he could come a second time, feeling the way that Luke swallows around him without fail. A moment later he pulls out and slumps against the sink, barely catching the sight of Luke wiping his teary eyes with one hand and the side of his mouth with the other, before his eyelids close on him.

Ashton doesn’t open his eyes again until he feels a pair of lips close over his own. He kisses Luke lazily, lets Luke lick into his mouth. He cringes at first at the taste of his own spunk on Luke’s tongue, before deciding that it isn’t as bad as he imagined it would be. He can get used to this.

Before Luke even fully pulls away, Ashton is already reaching for the button of his jeans to return the favor in his own way.

“You don’t have to,” Luke starts to say.

“Shut up, I want to,” Ashton tells him, quickly tugging down the zipper and shoving his hand in to free Luke’s cock.

Since it’s his first time touching another person’s cock, Ashton feels nervous as he wraps his hand around Luke’s. It’s fully hard and the head is already coated in pre-come, which isn’t much of a surprise at all. But what _is_ surprising is the whimper that comes from Luke, as soon as Ashton touches him down there. And, somehow it’s _cute_ , how he begins fucking into Ashton’s fist, desperate for some sort of friction.

Just like that, Ashton no longer feels nervous about this. It’s just a cock, and since Ashton also has a cock, then he knows what to do to make it feel good. After all, he’s been touching himself since he was a teenager going through puberty. So, this should be a piece of cake.

“Is it good?” he asks, peppering sweet kisses from Luke’s jawline down to his slender neck.

“Y-Yeah. So good, Ash, so good.” Luke makes that whimpering sound again, and it’s beautiful.

Ashton laughs softly against his neck, then kisses it once more before sucking on the skin. As a sort of thank you for the spectacular blowjob that he just received, Ashton thinks that a couple of pretty love bites should suffice. On the other hand, he just really likes to give them to people. So, as his hand works over Luke’s cock, stroking him faster by the second, Ashton’s mouth works over his neck, leaving hickeys wherever he can reach.

It doesn’t take long at all before Luke is coming in his fist, and Ashton glances down to watch the whole thing. His own spent cock twitches in interest as hot spurts of white fluid shoots onto his shirt. A little bit also gets onto Luke’s. Neither of them care at the moment, too in awe of what they’ve just done together.

Ashton is glad for the sink behind him, because as Luke starts to come down from his high, he practically collapses against Ashton from exhaustion, his head resting against the older boy’s shoulder. Of course Ashton doesn’t mind. With the hand that isn’t covered in Luke’s come, he reaches around and lovingly caresses Luke’s back. They stay just like this for a while, perfectly content within each other’s arms, perfectly happy.

Until someone begins to bang on the door.

“Fuck,” they both curse at the same time, staring at each other’s with wide, panicked eyes.

But, then they’re both giggling and scurrying around the bathroom in an attempt to clean themselves up. Ashton spins around and washes his hands at lightning speed, while Luke makes sure that both of them pull their jeans back up. He also wets a paper towel with water and attempts to wipe the mess from his and Ashton’s shirts, only to squeak and drops the towel when there’s another bang at the door. In the end, Luke lets Ashton wear his leather jacket and they exit the bathroom just in time, avoiding the look that the really buff guy standing on the other side of the door gives them.

Afterwards, they quickly flee from the pub, giggling like the silly fools that they are and sharing kisses beneath the moonlit sky.

***

Together, they go back to Luke’s place. It’s the first time that Ashton has been here, and he must say that he’s impressed. Luke is well-off enough to have no need for a flat mate, so he lives by himself in a cozy studio apartment on the opposite side of the university. It’s small and nice and Ashton will have to have a look around, once the sun comes up.

At the moment, he’s lying in Luke’s bed with Luke on top of him, peppering kisses all around his face and tickling his side with one hand. Ashton is giggling uncontrollably as he urges Luke to stop, but in truth, he never wants Luke to stop loving on him like this.

But Luke eventually does stop, and he rolls off of Ashton to lie down by his side instead. Like a magnet, Ashton scoots closer so that their faces are just mere inches apart. He tangles his legs with Luke’s and presses a kiss to the tip of Luke’s nose, grinning when Luke scrunches it up in that adorable way that he does.

Both of them are equally exhausted. After returning from the pub, they got each other off a second time, this time with Luke grinding on top of Ashton and Ashton’s hand wrapped around both of their cocks, enjoying the feeling of skin rubbing against skin. It was a nice experience, and now they’re twice as exhausted as before.

Ashton can’t stop himself from yawning. Right afterwards, Luke yawns. This causes Ashton to yawn for a second time, and just when Luke is about to mimic him, Ashton laughs and gently shoves him by the shoulder.

“Stop that,” he warns.

Luke just smiles. “You started it.”

“Yes, well, now I’m ending it. Because I can.”

“Says who?”

“Says me.”

In retaliation, Luke pokes him in the gut, inevitably resulting in a brief fight until Ashton gets the last poke, because he _always_ gets the last poke. Luke doesn’t appear to have any problem with this result. He only smiles again and closes the short distance between them to kiss Ashton some more, and their lips move together easily.

“I still can’t believe this,” Luke murmurs against Ashton’s swollen mouth.

“What do you mean?”

“Can’t believe that you like me,” he explains as he pulls back. “Like, this is a real thing. Wow.”

To be honest, Ashton can’t believe it either. Well, not the part about liking Luke, since it’s damn near impossible for anyone _not_ to like Luke. But, Ashton finds it difficult to believe that this is where he has ended up: naked in Luke’s bed. With Luke. _Cuddling_ with Luke. Especially when, just a few hours ago, he’d been so scared that Luke hated him now. Words can’t explain just how relieved he is to know that Luke doesn’t hate him and never did. Ashton is _so_ happy that he went with his instincts and took this chance.

“So,” Ashton begins. “You like me as well?”

“Of course I do,” Luke answers immediately. “Probably ever since the moment that you agreed to dance with me for the first time. After that, not a single day went by where I didn’t think ‘man, if only he was into guys!’ and now you are, so.” He laughs, then. “Also, if I didn’t like you, I doubt we’d have gotten off in a smelly pub bathroom…”

The fresh memory makes Ashton laugh, too.

“Then does this mean that we’re… a thing?”

Luke raises his eyebrows. “A thing?”

“Y’know, like…” Ashton waits for Luke to catch on, but when he doesn’t, he clarifies: “Boyfriends.”

“Oh!” The look of surprise on Luke’s face is quite cute, but Ashton is too nervous to appreciate it now. “Well, do you want to be?”

Ashton nods. “Mhm… do _you_?”

Luke nods as well. “I do.”

“Great! Then, I guess we’re boyfriends now?”

“Yeah, yeah I suppose that we are.”

“Glad we had this discussion, then.”

“Likewise.”

Like a couple of besotted schoolboys, they spend the next full minute simply smiling at each other. It’s nice to be able to just look at Luke like this, without pretending that it doesn’t mean anything more. Ashton has spent the last few weeks pretending that he didn’t feel anything whenever they gazed into each other’s eyes, so he’s happy that he no longer has to pretend at all.

Out of nowhere, a certain thought comes to mind, and it makes Ashton laugh. When Luke asks what’s funny, Ashton says:

“Be honest with me. Did you _really_ send that picture of your arse to me by mistake? Or, were you just pretending?”

For a second, it doesn’t look as if Luke knows what he’s talking about. Then, the embarrassing memory seems to come back to him, because his eyes widen and even in the dark, Ashton knows that he’s blushing deeply.

“No, no, I wasn’t pretending at all, I swear! Hey, stop laughing!”

“Alright, sure. Whatever you say, Luke!”

Ashton is unable to stop laughing, though. He laughs until Luke threatens to tickle him again without mercy, and once he’s calm enough, he decides to admit something of his own. Just so that Luke won’t feel too embarrassed.

“Wanna know a secret?”

Luke nods.

“I saved that picture. It’s on my phone right now.”

“Jesus Christ.” Luke laughs, because now it’s his turn. “Are you serious?”

Ashton laughs as well. “Yeah… Oh, and I promise that I didn’t show anyone. It was just… a moment of weakness? Couldn’t help myself!”

That confession just makes Luke laugh even more, and soon enough, both of them are gasping for air. At this rate, they’ll be awake until sunrise. To be honest, Ashton wouldn’t mind staying up all night with Luke, just like this.

“Whatever happened to that guy, anyway? The guy from the library that you actually meant to send it to?” he asks countless minutes later, once they’ve both managed to stop laughing.

Luke shrugs. “Like I said, he wasn’t my type.” Then, he leans closer so that their foreheads are touching. He adds in a whisper, “But, you are.”

Ashton expects it when Luke kisses him again. And, now that he can, he kisses Luke back. He thinks that in this moment, he never wants to stop kissing Luke. Not even if the world suddenly comes to an end, or some force tries to tear them apart.

Hell, he’d like to see ‘em try.

***

It’s just another ordinary Friday night, and Ashton is sitting on the sofa with his boyfriend curled up at his side. They’re drinking hot cocoa with marshmallows, there’s a blanket draped over them for extra warmth, and they’re watching some documentary about elephants on Netflix (Luke’s idea, not Ashton’s). So, yeah. This is what they now classify as another ordinary Friday night.

Ashton glances up as his best friends and flat mates walk past the living room. Right now, Harry is berating Louis for not wearing socks to keep his ankles warm when they leave in a few minutes, and he doesn’t stop until Louis throws his hands in the air and stomps back to their bedroom to retrieve the socks. Over by the kitchen counter, Ashton sees the exact moment that Calum gives his gloves to Michael, since the silly boy had arrived without wearing any. When Michael kisses Calum as if he has just saved his life, Ashton smiles.

Looking away from his friends now, Ashton glances down at the boy with his head resting against Ashton’s shoulder. He’s completely absorbed into the documentary, hardly paying attention to the commotion that the others are making as they walk through the flat. No, Luke is far more interested in the elephants on the screen and the delicious mug of hot cocoa in his pale hands.

Just because he wants to, Ashton kisses the top of Luke’s head. Luke snuggles into him even more.

“There, I’ve put on socks. I hope you’re happy now,” Louis grumbles as he re-enters the room.

Harry nods and presses a kiss to his forehead. “Very happy. Thank you.”

And just like that, Louis transforms from a grump into a little ball of fluff. Before heading out at last, he turns to face the two who are still cuddling on the sofa.

“Are you _sure_ that you don’t want to come clubbing with us?” he asks with pleading eyes and a pouty lip.

Ashton chuckles, but instead of answering right away, he glances down at Luke and asks:

“What do you think? Wanna go with them?”

Luke shakes his head without much of a second thought. “Nuh-uh. Just wanna stay here with you.”

That settles it, then. Ashton turns back to the others and waves, telling them to have fun and reminding them to be safe. It already began to snow less than an hour ago, but luckily, the weather report claims that there won’t be a storm. But this is _England_ , so there’s bound to be a snow storm within the next few days.

Now that they’re the only ones within the flat, Ashton can fully enjoy Luke’s presence without the interruption of others. He’s glad for this, since he wants to spend as much time with Luke as possible. Since the semester has just ended and it’s almost Christmas, Luke will be returning to Australia to spend time with his family for the holidays. He won’t be coming back until a couple of weeks before the new semester begins.

Despite being happy for Luke, Ashton is also incredibly sad. He knows that he’ll miss his boyfriend terribly, but at least Luke promises to return with souvenirs and Vegemite (Ashton is _dying_ to try it). He also promises to come and meet Ashton’s family, once he returns. Ashton holds onto those thoughts as a reassurance that they’ll be okay.

The documentary comes to an end about ten minutes later, and as the credits begin rolling, Luke stretches out his long limbs and lets out a really big yawn, so big that it puts a smile on Ashton’s face as he takes in just how adorable Luke really is.

“Sleepy?” he asks.

“Hardly,” Luke claims. He settles back against Ashton like a clingy housecat and gives him the remote control. “You can pick what we watch next.”

Because it’s a kind offer, Ashton takes the remote and begins to search through the grand list of selections. A Christmas movie would be fitting, but at the same time, thoughts of Christmas just reminds him that he won’t be spending it with Luke. Therefore, Ashton doesn’t want to think about Christmas right now. Instead, he continues looking until he comes by something that makes his eyes pop.

“Hey,” he says, and waits for Luke to look at him. When he does, Ashton grins. “Wanna watch BBC’s _Merlin_?”

Obviously, Luke doesn’t say no.


End file.
